Heartbreaks are painful. As much as we feel tormented by them, they are inevitable, and there’s little we can do to avoid them in life.
Heartbreaks can occur due to many reasons. You experienced betrayal in your relationship; your love interest did not reciprocate; you have unmet expectations; you received emotional neglect from someone who mattered; you recently went through a divorce; you have unresolved traumas, and so on.
The reasons can be many, and they can dent your mental and emotional state in the worst way possible. Even if it does, never underestimate your emotional pain. Also, there’s no point in comparing your pain to others. You are feeling hurtful and need time to heal. Period!
For those struggling to cope with a recent heartbreak, read this article to learn how to get through this phase where you felt like you were hitting rock bottom and believed there was no way out.
Why did heartbreaks hurt so bad?
Heartbreaks hurt like hell for several reasons:
- Emotional Attachment
When we get into a deep and emotional bond, it is natural for us to develop an emotional attachment. Losing a close connection can have a profound impact on us. We feel disappointed and often lose hope that anything good will happen to us ever again.
- Physical Pain Response
When we experience heartbreak, it can trigger a physical pain response in the body due to the release of stress hormones like cortisol. Headache, stomachache, and fatigue are the few symptoms that occur when we experience a heartache.
- Rejection
A heartbreak can leave us shattered on many fronts. It often comes along with a feeling of rejection that can blow away our self-esteem. It’s completely normal for anyone to question their self-worth when faced with heartbreak.
- Blow on Self-esteem
Negative self-talk is among the worst happenings that almost everyone experiences after a heartbreak. If gone unchecked for long, it can even make us fall into self-sabotage patterns.
- Routine Disruption
Our routine is made from people and activities. On losing a connection with a person, we experience a heavy blow in our daily routine that makes it difficult to move past the trauma of heartbreak.
How to Handle a Heartbreak?
Handling a heartbreak requires patience and empathy for yourself. Clearly, it is a situation where you lose your ability to think straight and need to put your emotions before your thoughts.
You cannot simply instruct yourself to feel a certain way. It is vital that you acknowledge your pain and hurt before moving ahead in your life.
Let’s understand it with the help of an analogy. Suppose you have a fracture in your leg. Would it make sense to be hard on yourself for not being able to walk and forcing leg movements? Isn’t it the right thing to limit your activity temporarily and allow your leg to heal?
Similarly, whenever you receive an emotional injury (heartbreak), it’s crucial to nurture your emotional pain and give yourself the time to heal.
#1: Permit Yourself to Feel the Pain
Allowing yourself the time and space to feel pain is an important step in overcoming your hurt. When you decide to sit with your pain and process it, you are choosing to self-nurse your emotional wound.
Understand that it is not as simple as giving yourself the mental instructions. Emotional purging is different and needs your time and energy. You need to be attuned to your emotions and allow their free flow.
Say your mind tells you to be productive, but emotionally, you feel drained and uninspired. Follow your emotional meter for a while until you are restored to your normal emotional state. When you do this, you pick yourself up from the bottom and align yourself for the betterment. Doing things the other way around can land you in a bigger mess and would only worsen the matter.
👉 Pro Tip
Keep a journal to express your emotions. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process your pain and gain clarity.
SHOP ON AMAZONStay non-judgmental towards your emotions, and you’ll notice gaining a healthy perspective on life soon.
#2: Invest in your Self-care Routine
Heartbreaks are known for blowing self-esteem and leaving voids. Make the best use of energy to focus on yourself. It could be in any form. You can start by taking care of your health. Make sure you are taking meals on time and eating a healthy diet. Falling on the negative side of the spectrum is very easy and tempting. You may indulge in unhealthy eating in the pretense of taking care of your moods and name it a self-care ritual.
Be mindful of your choices and actions, and know that your present actions are crafting your future. The more honest and truthful you are in your approach, the more effectively you can benefit from this experience.
Self-Help Challenge: For the next week, commit to doing one self-care activity each day. It could be as simple as taking a bubble bath, practicing yoga, or cooking a healthy meal.
Commit to your growth, and you’ll fall in love with yourself all over again.
#3: Practice Mindfulness and Meditation
Another way of dealing with the heartache is to practice mindfulness and meditation. We are often clueless when it comes to practicing meditation. Reason? We don’t find a way to practice it and usually lack guidance. In such cases, you can always fall back on the guided meditations that help you through your specific concerns.
As you progress in your journey, you’ll know how to work around the tools of meditation. Also, it is something that you learn experientially. As you begin to tap into the power of mindfulness and meditation, you’ll notice a new version of yourself coming to life. Healing yourself from within is the ultimate solution and way out after burning your hands in the fire of heartbreak. You can deepen your meditation practice with a singing bowl. It will help you soothe your mental state and experience the calm with its enchanting sound vibrations.
#4: Rely on External Support
After experiencing heartbreak, it is natural for anyone to succumb to loneliness. We often don’t feel comfortable surrounding ourselves with others. It may soothe you for a while but understand that talking your heart out and venting your negative feelings is crucial to overcoming the negative effects of heartbreak.
So whenever you find yourself in the deep mud of pain and hurt, don’t hold yourself back from speaking your mind to your friends and family. Seek their support and assistance in making yourself feel better, and you’ll soon be over with your suffering. Also, if you feel the need to seek professional help, you can opt for therapy and utilize their expertise to ease your pain.
#5: Transform Heartache into Personal Growth
It might sound odd, but channeling your pain into something constructive is surprisingly powerful. We aren’t saying to distract from your genuine feelings and emotions. When you experience the intensity of pain and disappointment, you can utilize the time and energy toward personal growth and expansion.
Consider learning a new language, exploring a passion or hobby that you always wanted to do, or perhaps trying something you never thought of. It would give you a new direction and allow you to tap into new opportunities, even when you are not in your best mind frame.
Conclusion
Heartbreaks can be tormenting, and the process of healing takes time. When you commit to your growth and decide to channel your energy into self-care, there’s nothing that can stop you. Give yourself time, patience, and self-compassion to grow from pain. Realize that you won’t be in this struggle for long. Your inner will and persistence can take you a long way in coming out even stronger. Stick by the reminder—This, too, shall pass, and you’ll soon enter a phase where you’ll bloom with joy, happiness, and fulfillment.
FAQ’s
Healing from heartache takes time. Start by getting comfortable with your pain. Do not suppress your emotions; acknowledge them and sit with them as long as they demand. Build a positive network of friends and well-wishers around you to fight off the negative feelings and passivity. Focus on the self-care, and you’ll see yourself coming out of your gloomy phase once and for all.
There are five stages of a heartbreak. At first, you deny it. In the next stage, you express your anger and shock in response to the pain you experience after a heartbreak. Eventually, when you get tired of throwing your anger and blame on the person, you will likely cling to the hope that the whole situation might reverse (which is rarely the case).
The next stage is when you withdraw yourself to isolation and remain anxious about the future. The last and final stage is healing and acceptance, where you find the strength and courage to move ahead with your life.
There’s no definitive answer. The time it takes to heal depends on the depth of your emotional wound and your ability to recover. It may take anywhere from weeks to months to overcome the pain of heartbreak.
The most difficult of all is the withdrawal stage—where you isolate yourself. Dealing with your loss and hurt when not equipped with the right support and guidance can be challenging. Dealing with the intense emotions of loneliness, sadness, and anxiety can leave you empty from within and feel like a struggle with no end.
Heartbreak can deeply affect a person physically, mentally, and emotionally. Physically, it can result in loss of appetite, fatigue, and sleep deprivation. Mentally, it can erode your self-confidence and cause self-doubt. Emotionally, it can make you feel drained and anxious, lowering your self-esteem—making it difficult to focus.
What are the common physical symptoms experienced during a heartbreak?
