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Your Goals Don’t Matter…Try Feeling The Future Instead

Your Goals Don’t Matter…Try Feeling The Future Instead

By Tyler Mongan

Close your eyes for a moment. Think about a goal you’ve been wanting to achieve. Now, imagine yourself in the future where you’ve accomplished that goal. What do you see around you? What are you wearing? Who’s with you? Most importantly, how do you feel? Take a moment to really sink into those feelings. Notice the sensations in your body, the emotions that arise. Hold onto them, they’re more powerful than you might think.

In this article, we’re going to explore why your goals don’t matter as much as you think they do, and why “feeling the future” might be the secret to unlocking your potential and finding true happiness.

The GUT Model of Goals

We all have different goals. Maybe you want to ace your next exam, land your dream job, hit a specific income target, master a new skill, or even colonize Mars (Hello Elon Musk). These goals might seem vastly different on the surface, but they all share three crucial elements:

  1. Gap: There’s a distance between where you are now and where you want to be.
  2. Uncertainty: The path to your goal is filled with unknowns and potential obstacles.
  3. Transformation: Achieving your goal requires you to become a different version of yourself.

These three elements form what I call the GUT of goal-setting. Understanding this model can help you approach your goals with greater clarity and purpose. But before we dive deeper into how to use the GUT model, we need to address a fundamental question: Where do our goals really come from?

The Subconscious Roots of Our Goals

We often think our goals are the product of careful reflection, a deep understanding of ourselves, and a clear vision of what we want in life. But the truth is much more complex.

As children, we develop survival strategies. These strategies are all about moving from one feeling state to another, typically from a “bad” feeling to a “good” feeling. For instance, a baby learns that crying (the strategy) can make the unpleasant feeling of hunger go away and be replaced by the pleasant feeling of being full and content (the goal).

These early survival strategies don’t disappear as we grow older. Instead, they evolve and influence our behavior in subtle ways. As we mature we start to attribute these feeling states to specific goals. We feel hungry, so our goal becomes to get food to feel satiated. We feel lonely, so our goal becomes to find companionship to feel loved.

But here’s the kicker: these goals aren’t always what we truly want. They’re often just the strategies we’ve learned to change our feeling states.

Finding the Feeling Behind the Goal

Let’s do a thought experiment. Imagine you’re seeking companionship because you want to feel love. Now, imagine you could take a pill or hook up to a device that gave you the feeling of love instantly. Would you still seek out a companion? If the answer is no, then your true goal wasn’t companionship, it was the feeling of love.

This realization leads us to a profound truth: We often attribute a feeling to a goal, when what we really want is just the feeling itself.

But there’s another important consideration. If you already feel love, do you think you’re more or less likely to find a companion? And do you think you’ll find a better companion if you’re seeking one to feel love, or if you already feel love and are looking for someone to share it with?

The pattern we develop as babies, “feel X, want to feel Y, need goal Z to get there” makes sense when we have no control over our feelings and need to manipulate our environment to get what we need. But as we age and mature, if we keep using the same strategy, we might find that achieving our goals doesn’t satisfy us or give us the feelings we want.

Chasing Feelings

Let me share a story that illustrates this point. I once met a gentleman who had sold two companies and made over $300 million dollars. From the outside, his life seemed perfect, he had the means to get anything he wanted. But internally, he was miserable.

I later found out that he had been abused as a child. There was a feeling of love and respect he was desperately trying to activate through his goals, but he couldn’t find it no matter how much money he had. This feeling was so strong that it drove him to build multi-million dollar companies, all in an attempt to find that elusive feeling.

Then one day, after years of chasing that feeling through external goals, he found what he was looking for inside himself. The feelings of love and respect were there all along, but he thought he had to achieve certain goals before he could allow himself to feel them. All he had to do was activate those feelings.

When he finally activated the feelings of love and respect, it opened up new possibilities. He was no longer stuck chasing goals to get a certain feeling. Instead, he found new goals, like helping others and building a better world.

Feeling X, to Get Goal Y

This story leads us to a profound realization: As mature adults, we should have control over our feelings. We can activate the feelings we want either through immediate self-determination or through other strategies.

This is a game-changing shift in how we see goals. It’s not about “if I get this goal, I will feel a certain way.” Instead, it’s “if I feel this way, I will get the goal.”

Let’s go back to the love example. Instead of seeking a companion to feel love, if you activate the feeling of love first and hold onto that feeling, you’ve already achieved the goal in a way. Moreover, if you feel love and then seek out a companion, it will not only be easier to find one, but you’ll probably find a much better companion to share that love with. 

Feeling the Future: A New Approach to Goal Achievement

So, let’s summarize what we’ve discussed so far. As babies, goals are means to change our feeling states. As we mature, we think the goal is the feeling. The reality is we can activate the feeling without achieving the goal, and in a sense achieve the goal immediately through feelings. And this might change our goals or make them easier to achieve.

This leads us to a revolutionary approach to goal achievement: Feel the feeling as if you’ve already achieved the goal. In other words, we need to feel the future.

Now, let’s return to the GUT model and see how “feeling the future” can help. By consciously engaging with the emotional and physical sensations of achieving our goals, we can:

Distinguish between subconsciously driven goals and authentic desires:
If we activate the feeling and no longer want to achieve the goal, then it wasn’t really authentic. For example, I know a woman who was really stressed at work and felt like she needed a break. Her goal was to go on vacation as soon as possible. She started researching destinations, flights, hotels, and attractions. After imagining herself there, she realized she already felt like she had taken a vacation. She decided she just needed to feel less stressed and saved a lot of money by just feeling more relaxed.

Increase motivation by making the goal feel more tangible:
When you feel the future, you start to build a neurophysiological connection to it. Your brain and body don’t know the difference between imagining the past and imagining the future. So as you feel the future, your brain and body start to create a memory of the future, as if you’ve already achieved that goal.

Identify potential obstacles and resources needed for success:
As you develop the skill to feel the future, you become aware of what’s holding you back from achieving the goal. Maybe it’s an old subconscious pattern, or maybe it’s a bad strategy. As you feel the future, these limitations become less influential, and you start to see new pathways to your desired future.

Applying “Feeling the Future” to the GUT Model

Let’s break down how this concept applies to each component of the GUT Model:

Bridging the Gap:
Visualize yourself in the state of having achieved your goal. What does it look like? Feel like? This vivid mental image can help you identify the steps needed to bridge the gap. More importantly, we can shift our understanding of the gap from “If I achieve goal X, I get feeling Y” to “If I feel Y, then I have already achieved goal X or am more likely to achieve it.” We’ve changed how we understand bridging the gap.

Reducing Uncertainty:
As you “feel” your future success and goal achievement, imagine you’re really in that future. Imagine that the future has already happened. Activate as many sensations and positive emotions as you can. Create the memory of that future in your neurophysiology. By engaging your sensory imagination, you’re better prepared to handle the uncertainty of reality. Now your brain and body feel more certain about your ability to achieve the goal.

Enhancing Transformation:
Feeling your future allows you to see the person you want to become to achieve that goal. This not only makes the transformation feel more achievable and increases your commitment to change, but it also helps you activate the feelings of that new you in the present. You start to embody the transformation required to achieve the goal. You start to become the future you in the present. 

A Practical Exercise in “Feeling the Future”

Let’s go back to the goal you imagined at the beginning of this article. Again, imagine yourself in the future where you’ve already achieved the goal. How do you feel? Activate those feelings throughout your body and mind, then see if you can amplify them. Make the imagination as vivid as possible. What are you wearing? Where are you at? What does the surroundings look like, smell like and what do you hear? What do you feel in your body? 

Now, imagine someone you know, someone who plays an important part in your life, standing in front of you. Look them in the eyes and tell them all about the goal you’ve achieved. Notice how excited they are for you. See how their positive feelings amplify your own feelings even more.

Tell yourself, I have already achieved the goal. It has already happened. 

Try to hold onto these feelings throughout your day and notice what happens. You might be surprised at how this simple exercise can shift your perspective and even your reality.

Conclusion

You see, your goals don’t matter as much as you might think. What matters more is your ability to feel the future, to experience the emotions and sensations associated with achieving your goals before you actually achieve them.

This approach doesn’t just make goal achievement easier; it can also help you identify which goals are truly important to you and which ones are just strategies you’ve developed to change your feeling states.

By mastering the art of feeling the future, you can transform your approach to goal-setting and achievement. You’ll be able to distinguish between authentic desires and subconsciously driven goals, increase your motivation, and identify potential obstacles and resources for success.

Your goals don’t matter as much as you think. Try feeling the future instead. You might just find that bridging the Gap to your goal, facing the Uncertainty of achievement and embracing the Transformation of self, is much easier than you ever imagined.

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