Experiencing jealousy is like holding a burning ember in your hand. The longer you grip it, the more it hurts. The practical solution to rid yourself of all the pain and burning is to let go of it.
We know it’s easier said than done!
You might not be able to gulp it for now but believe us, the discomfort and unwanted feelings you feel will vanish once you read the entire article.
This article will help you identify the root causes of your jealousy and guide you to a better place where you can overcome it without falling into its grip.
Let’s dissect it point by point and see how you can work around this complex emotion called jealousy.
What is Jealousy?
Jealousy is an emotion that emerges when we perceive a threat to someone or something we value. It could be a possession, person, status, or relationship. It is natural for us to feel jealous, and we must handle our emotions with care and sensitivity.
Why? Judging ourselves for feeling the way we feel is very tempting, but trying to understand the whole situation and remaining compassionate towards ourselves takes real courage. This is where we evolve and grow in terms of dealing with our own emotions in a constructive manner.
Envy Vs. Jealousy
We often interchangeably use the words jealousy and envy. But understand there’s a huge difference between these two. Jealousy arises when we fear losing something we already have, while envy occurs when we desire something that someone else possesses.
These two emotions have different notions and point to different standpoints. Jealousy reflects the outside focus, where we entirely focus on the other person causing the trigger. On the other hand, envy is inward-focused, where our entire focus is on ourselves.
Upon closer inspection, you’ll realize envy is a more manageable emotion (though we can’t always control what we feel). Envy allows us to focus on our own desires. In contrast, jealousy shifts our focus outward, sometimes leading us to act in unjustified ways.
Ways To Overcome Jealousy
You often hear strong voices and opinions against jealousy, but know that an emotion is an emotion; it can never be categorized as being good or bad. There can only be ways to deal with it in a constructive or destructive manner.
#1: Acknowledge Your Feelings
Experiencing jealousy is never a pleasant experience. You may feel compelled to react to your compulsions, but understand there are better ways to navigate through this emotion. The place that you need to start is remaining non-judgmental towards your emotions. When you realize that judging your emotions should be the last thing on your mind, you’ve won half the battle already. Accept your jealousy, no matter how bad of a person it makes you in your eyes, and recognize that it’s a natural emotion that everyone experiences.
Once you become comfortable with your emotions, you can tune your emotional frequency to the feelings that you really want to experience.
#2: Dig Deeper and Challenge your Emotions
The next step is to go a little further and question your own feelings and address the underlying fear, threats, or insecurities. It is imperative to be your own critic at this stage. Why? Because it is essential to expand your horizons and see the bigger picture. Jealousy often contracts our perception, and we only see what we want to see.
When acknowledging our jealousy, we must try to find its origin. Most of the time, it erupts due to some unresolved past trauma, low self-esteem, ingrained fear or insecurity following our past experiences, etc. When we use jealousy as a mirror, we make the best possible use of this emotion (jealousy) for our evolutionary growth.
#3: Practice Self-Compassion
The whole world is going to judge you anyway. Would it be fair to add one more critic to your life? Not really. We must understand the relevance of being our greatest well wishes. And this doesn’t come from giving ourselves the harshest judgments and opinions. In fact, we must learn to accept our feelings and emotions the way they are and try to find the reasons behind them.
To break the loop of negativity, try to treat yourself with the same compassion and concern as you would a friend. Instead of saying in your mind, ‘ You are being horrible for harboring jealousy,’ say, ‘It’s Ok to feel this way (for a given set of reasons), but you are bigger than this and can access a better range of emotions—following your personal growth and expansion.’
SHOP ON AMAZON#4: Open Communication
An effective step to deal with jealousy is to have open communication. Believe it or not, our minds often magnify negative emotions and situations. It isn’t surprising that it even lands us into thoughts and feelings that are delusionary. To bring ourselves closer to reality and find practical ways to move away from jealousy is to have an open discussion.
It may help us broaden our perspective and find practical solutions to our actual concerns. Also, it opens a brand new window of empathy and deeper understanding for the relationships to get better and stronger. Don’t hesitate to exercise the option of having a transparent and honest conversation and watch the transformation in your relationships like never before.
#5: Indulge in Mindfulness and Meditation
Staying unaffected by negative emotions and letting them pass through us requires a strong sense of stability. Whenever it comes to solidifying your ground, mindfulness and meditation will always top the list. They help you go deeper into your thoughts and feelings and allow yourself to know your deeper secrets.
For instance, you might feel jealousy in your relationship due to low self-esteem. Here, the solution is to work on your limitations rather than acting upon your impulses and making your relationship suffer its consequences. To get a clear vision and understanding of life, you must invest a significant portion of your time in activities like yoga, meditation, sound therapy, and so on. When you go deeper into your practice, you’ll notice a visible difference in your conduct and overall well-being.
Quick Tips to Deal with Jealousy
- Don’t fall into the trap of making comparisons, as it can make you vulnerable to experiencing emotions like jealousy.
- Don’t delay in shifting your focus to your personal strengths, goals, and achievements whenever you catch yourself experiencing jealousy.
- Limit social media consumption, as it often fosters jealousy by showcasing curated, idealized versions of others—leading to unfounded comparisons.
- Reflect on triggers that often make you slip into the emotions like jealousy. Emotions are often the carriers of information that we often miss—fighting them off on the outside world.
- Distracting yourself from the activities can also help you shift your focus from feeling unwanted emotions. If you genuinely despise experiencing jealousy, try engaging in physical activities, following a hobby, or connecting with an old friend.
Conclusion
Dealing with jealousy can be tricky. It takes a perspective shift to realize that we can channel this emotion for self-discovery and personal growth. Remember, it’s natural to experience jealousy, but what matters is utilizing it constructively. Setting healthy boundaries and focusing on your strengths can have a huge impact on transmuting it in the positive direction. The worst decision is to act on our impulses and continue to view life from a limited perspective.
FAQs
Yes, it’s perfectly alright to experience jealousy. Everyone experiences it at some point in their lives. The only thing that makes a difference is how we choose to navigate through this emotion. When we choose to get to its core and deal with it in a constructive way, it turns into a blessing in disguise.
Jealousy occurs when we fear losing someone or something, often stemming from our insecurities. The other factors that cause jealousy within us are past traumas, low self-esteem, drawing comparisons with others, and so on. Once detected, jealousy must be addressed with proper care and attention. When we choose to reflect upon our internal limitations following our jealousy, we take the constructive route to address our jealousy.
Jealousy is about feeling insecure about losing something. If it’s a person, you can straightaway go and talk about your concerns. It will help you find the real picture and receive an outside perspective on your problem. If it’s about a job, title, or position, you can dive deeper into the matter and find the actual cause making you jealous about them. The bottom line is addressing the underlying cause, which will help you elevate your emotional frequency.
If you aren’t able to navigate through jealousy, you can always seek an expert’s help. Therapy is a great way to express yourself without any hindrance and allow the expert to guide you to a better range of emotions—expanding your perspective. In times when you aren’t in your best mind frame and emotions, you can choose to fall back on the expert’s guidance and get rid of jealousy once and for all.
Yes, we can. Understand that whenever we get jealous of someone or something, we are shifting our focus to the outside. We always have a choice of bringing it back to ourselves, and when we do this, we are bound to feel empowered. This is, in fact, the best way to deal with any dense emotion, let alone jealousy.
What is the fundamental difference between jealousy and envy according to the article?
