Archives: Exclusive Articles

How and why to improve your physical health by changing tech habits

By Taino Bendz

ALTERNATIVE 1: Scroll thumb, mouse elbow, tech neck, digital eye strain, screen slump.. the list goes on for the very real consequences of an unbalanced technology use. 

ALTERNATIVE 2: Scroll thumb, mouse elbow, tech neck, dry eyes, hearing loss, poor posture, carpal tunnel syndrome, sedentary lifestyle, headaches, sore shoulders, reduced grip strength, increased risk of myopia (nearsightedness), skin issues, dehydration..the list goes on for the very real consequences of an unbalanced technology use. 

In this article you will learn how digital tech affects your physical health, and how you can improve in simple ways!

By Alexa Simmons, Guest Contributor

Hey there!

We all know that feeling—the excitement of meeting up with friends at a favorite restaurant, only to be met with a menu that makes your stomach flip (and not in a good way). If you’re someone who’s mindful about gut health, eating out can sometimes feel like navigating a maze of hidden sugars, unhealthy fats, and processed ingredients. It can be downright stressful, and that’s the last thing you want during a night out.

But here’s the good news: enjoying a meal at a restaurant doesn’t have to derail your gut health journey. I totally get how challenging it can be, and I’m here to share some friendly advice to help you dine out with confidence and without the gut guilt.

Firstly, consider looking for dishes that are grilled, steamed, or baked instead of fried. I know the crispy calamari might be calling your name, but options like grilled salmon or steamed veggies are not only delicious but also much gentler on your digestive system. These cooking methods typically use less oil and preserve more of the food’s natural nutrients, making your meal both satisfying and gut-friendly.

Choosing lean proteins can also make a significant difference. Think about opting for chicken, fish, or tofu. These proteins are easier to digest compared to heavier red meats and can leave you feeling energized rather than weighed down. Pair them with a hearty serving of vegetables, and you’ve got a balanced meal that’s kind to your gut.

I understand that asking for changes to your order can feel a bit awkward, but most restaurants are more than happy to accommodate. Don’t hesitate to request swapping out the fries for a side salad or asking for sauces and dressings on the side. These small adjustments can help you avoid ingredients that might upset your stomach without compromising on flavor or enjoyment.

If the thought of making these decisions on the spot adds to your stress, try checking the restaurant’s menu online before you go. Many places now provide detailed descriptions of their dishes, and some even include nutritional information. Taking a few minutes to plan ahead can help you feel more in control and relaxed when you arrive. You’ll be able to focus on the company and the experience rather than worrying about what to order.

Remember, dining out is meant to be a pleasurable experience—a time to connect with others and savor good food. By making mindful choices and advocating for what makes you feel your best, you can enjoy all the social perks of eating out while keeping your gut health in check.

So next time you find yourself scanning a menu, take a deep breath and know that you’ve got the tools to make choices that are right for you. After all, you deserve to enjoy your meal without stress or discomfort. Here’s to delicious dinners and happy tummies!

Enjoy your night out!

By Dr. David Hester

Someone asked me a profound question: “How do you overcome the stress of trying to control what you can’t?”

Initially, I thought—I managed stress through self-care. But this reflection led me down an unexpected path of discovery.

Unlike my previous articles, this is a deeply personal exploration of understanding the complex relationship between stress and self-care and the illusion of control. Traditionally, when I thought of self-care, I viewed it as a means to maintain readiness, healing, and health. However, whenever I communicated my need for self-care, at times, I encountered an unexpected wave of shame from others. This reaction was both confusing and frustrating. Gradually, I began to internalize these responses, viewing self-care as a selfish act that offered nothing to others.

The turning point came after hitting rock bottom—inadequate resilience levels, erratic heart rate variability, and sleepless nights revealed how removing self-care had eroded my armor against stressors.

During a passing conversation with a colleague, they reminded me of the fundamental importance of self-preservation. I thought they were talking about selfishness and self- centeredness, but I was wrong. They drew an intriguing parallel to how survivalists use preservatives to extend food longevity, jokingly extending this to our preservative-laden American food supply. While the comparison to processed food was said jokingly, it sparked a revelation: perhaps self-care becomes more palatable when reframed as “Personal Preservation.” We contemplated how we might “add preservatives” to our mental health through intentional self-care, nurturing our bodies, and enhancing our overall well-being.

I Identify as Human

We are all wonderful balls of confusion, contradiction, and responsibility. I sometimes identify as a professional, parent, caregiver, or leader. Mostly I identify as human. For professionals like myself, time blocking has been an effective tool in managing workload and avoiding burnout. Mindful movement at my desk has also helped reduce tension and improve focus throughout the day. Delegating tasks to trusted teammates has lightened my load and empowered them to thrive without me.

As a parent, I have learned the value of dedicating time to personal activities through a self-care schedule. Family meetings have also become a helpful tool in navigating stressors and finding solutions together. For individuals with chronic illness—like myself—pain management techniques such as meditation and physical therapy, as well as finding a supportive community, have been crucial in managing stress.

However, the most important lesson I have learned is that life will always be unpredictable, and attempting to control every aspect of it is futile. Instead, I have learned to embrace chaos, be like water, and respond with resilience. To me, it’s like conducting an orchestra—you can guide, but you can’t control every instrument. Still, you can learn to dance with the music and find harmony amidst the chaos.

The Illusion of Control

As I learn and grow through this, I am constantly reminded of the aspects out of my control and those that are. To be honest, this experience is humbling and overwhelming at times.

Ultimately, it has taught me valuable lessons about the power of perspective and the importance of focusing on what I can change rather than what I can’t.

Over time, I’ve learned that control is an illusion, an egoic effort to protect me from pain and unease. The desire to control is rooted in fear and uncertainty. That’s what things outside our control show: the world’s uncertainty.

We cannot control every aspect of everything, we can’t control others, and we can’t even control ourselves fully (try digesting your food; let me know the outcome). There are a few things we can control with effort. One thing that is always within my control is my perceptions and behavior, and when I put my mind to it, my breath. I have learned to center myself before responding in moments of stress or chaos. For some people, taking a deep breath can be triggering. I’m one of them. So, I watch my breath and exhale longer than I inhale. Small action, right, yet this has altered how I handle challenging situations.

One aspect I control in my life is where I direct my energy. Growing up, I didn’t believe in the concept of being energy beings, but during my journey in medical neuroscience, I learned about the intricacies and importance of our bioelectric system. Our brain, heart, and bones are all connected and impacted by energy, whether it’s positive or negative. Once I understood this, I consciously tried to be intentional about where I direct my energy. This includes how I move my body, manage negative thoughts (or ANTs), and choose what and who I give my heart. Both physical and mental energy are important considerations.

Don’t Go Chasing Comets

Although thoughts can feel uncontrollable at times, we ultimately have power over how we respond to them. I once heard an analogy that compares thoughts to comets passing through our minds; if we attach ourselves to them, we’ll be taken on a wild ride to wherever the comet is headed. But if we simply observe the thought, acknowledge it, appreciate it, or let it go, we can choose how to respond. This gives us the power to decide which thoughts hold dominion over us and which ones we can release. This realization has profoundly impacted me as I actively work on shifting negative thought patterns into more positive ones. This one seems evident regarding actions, but sometimes, we forget that our actions are entirely up to us. We can make choices and decisions that align with our values and goals.

Language is essential in our lives. We influence others with our words while also shaping our perceptions and beliefs. If we are mindful of how we communicate, we can create healthier experiences for ourselves and those around us. Setting goals is another aspect within our control. While external factors may interfere with reaching those goals, ultimately, it is up to us whether or not we take action to achieve them.

Respond Not React

Challenges are inevitable in life – big or small – but how we respond to them is entirely within our control. We have the power to choose whether we let challenges defeat us or if we choose to thrive. Here are some tips.

• Time Blocking: Schedule specific time slots for tasks. Manage workload and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
• Mindful Breathing at Your Desk: Take deep breaths throughout the day to reduce tension and improve focus.
• Delegate Tasks: Lighten your workload.

For Parents:

• Self-Care Schedule: Dedicate time for personal activities to recharge.
• Family Meetings: Discuss stressors and find solutions together.
• Mindful Parenting: Be present and respond to children’s needs calmly.

Pain Management Techniques:

• Introspection.
• Lean into pain instead of running away from it.
• Support Groups: Find the people that “Get you”.
• Use Adaptation Strategies: Alter routines to accommodate your needs.

Despite how you identify, remember that there are always factors beyond our control. By reframing self-care practices and intentionally implementing them into our lives, we can find personal preservation and build our resilience against stressors. We can learn to thrive in times of chaos.

Resources:

1. https://www.snexplores.org/article/electric-body-brain-heart-bone
2. Video Summary: How I Manage My Time – 10 Time Management Tips by Ali Abdaal.
   https://learnsmarter.ai/resources/how-i-manage-my-time-10-time-management-tips-video-summary/

Navigating Towards Healthier Eating

By Jordan Wells, Graduate Researcher 

In the modern food landscape, ultra-processed foods (UPFs) have become ubiquitous, profoundly influencing dietary habits worldwide. Understanding their history, the needs they initially met, and the consequences of their prevalence is crucial for making informed dietary choices that promote health and well-being.

The Historical Evolution of Ultra-Processed Foods

The processing of food is not a novel concept; humans have been preserving and enhancing food through methods like fermentation, drying, and salting for millennia. However, the advent of ultra-processed foods is a relatively recent phenomenon.

The Industrial Revolution in the 18th and 19th centuries marked a significant shift in food production. Mechanization allowed for mass production and extended shelf lives, meeting the needs of rapidly urbanizing populations.

#1. Canning, pasteurization, and refrigeration emerged as technologies that revolutionized food preservation.

In the mid-20th century, particularly after World War II, there was a surge in the development of convenience foods. Advances in food science led to the creation of ready-to-eat meals, snack foods, and other products designed for ease and speed.

#2. The introduction of additives, preservatives, and artificial flavors facilitated the rise of UPFs.

Ultra-processed foods are characterized by formulations of ingredients, often created through a series of industrial processes, that result in products with little resemblance to whole foods.

#3. These include soft drinks, packaged snacks, reconstituted meat products, and instant noodles.

Why Ultra-Processed Foods Were Created

The creation of ultra-processed foods was driven by several interrelated factors that aligned with societal changes and economic motivations. As societies became busier, particularly with more dual-income households, the demand for quick and easy meal solutions grew significantly.

#4. Ultra-processed foods offered time-strapped consumers the ability to prepare meals with minimal effort, catering to the need for convenience in an increasingly fast-paced world.

Extending the shelf life of food products was another critical motivation. Ultra-processed foods are engineered to last longer, reducing food spoilage and waste.

#5. This was especially important for feeding soldiers during wars and providing sustenance in areas with limited access to fresh produce. The ability to store food for extended periods without significant loss of quality or safety was a crucial advancement in addressing food security.

Addressing food scarcity also played a vital role in the development of UPFs. In times of economic depression or in developing nations, ultra-processed foods provided a means to deliver calories to large populations at a low cost.

#6. They offered an efficient way to combat hunger and malnutrition on a broad scale, as they could be produced en masse and distributed widely.

Economic factors cannot be overlooked. For food manufacturers, ultra-processed foods presented an opportunity to add value to inexpensive raw ingredients, thereby increasing profitability. The use of additives and flavorings allowed for the creation of highly palatable products that encouraged repeat purchases.

#7. This commercial appeal drove innovation and investment in the development of new ultra-processed food items.

The Real-World Needs Met by Ultra-Processed Foods

Ultra-processed foods met several critical societal needs during their rise to prominence. With rapid urbanization, there was a significant reduction in the capacity for self-sustaining food practices like home gardening or local farming. UPFs filled this gap by providing accessible food options to growing urban populations.

#8. They became staples in city dwellers’ diets, offering consistency and availability that local food systems struggled to match.

Affordability was another key benefit. By utilizing inexpensive ingredients and leveraging economies of scale in production, ultra-processed foods became affordable options for low-income populations.

#9. This affordability made them essential components in the diets of many families who might otherwise struggle to access sufficient calories.

The ease of preparation associated with ultra-processed foods catered to individuals with limited time or cooking skills, aligning with changing lifestyles.

#10. As more people moved into urban environments and work hours increased, the convenience of ready-to-eat or easy-to-prepare foods became increasingly attractive.

Drawbacks of Excessive Ultra-Processed Food Consumption

While ultra-processed foods addressed certain immediate needs, excessive consumption has led to significant drawbacks that impact public health. One major concern is the nutritional deficiencies associated with these foods. UPFs are often high in calories, sugars, unhealthy fats, and salt but low in essential nutrients like fiber, vitamins, and minerals.

#11. This imbalance contributes to malnutrition, even among individuals who are overweight or obese, as they consume energy-dense but nutrient-poor diets.

Health risks linked to high intake of ultra-processed foods are well-documented. Numerous studies have associated excessive consumption with increased risks of obesity, type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and certain cancers.

#12. For instance, a 2019 study published in The BMJ found that a 10% increase in ultra-processed food consumption was associated with a significant increase in the risk of overall mortality.

#13. These findings highlight the serious implications of diets dominated by such foods.

Another significant drawback is the impact on gut health. Ultra-processed foods can disrupt the gut microbiota, leading to digestive issues and compromising the immune system.

#14. Additives like emulsifiers, commonly found in these foods, have been shown to induce gut inflammation in animal studies.

#15. This disruption of the gut environment can have far-reaching effects on overall health, including mental well-being.

Environmental concerns also arise from the production and consumption of ultra-processed foods. The manufacturing processes often involve high energy use and generate extensive packaging waste, contributing to environmental degradation.

#16. The reliance on industrial-scale agriculture for ingredients can lead to loss of biodiversity, soil depletion, and increased greenhouse gas emissions.

Improving Health Through Healthier Eating

Transitioning towards a diet rich in whole and minimally processed foods can mitigate the risks associated with ultra-processed foods. Emphasizing the consumption of whole foods—such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats—ensures a nutrient-dense diet that supports overall health.

#17. Whole foods provide essential nutrients, fiber, and bioactive compounds that are often stripped away during the processing of ultra-processed foods.

Incorporating fermented foods into one’s diet is another effective strategy for improving health. Fermented foods like yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, and kimchi introduce beneficial probiotics that support gut health.

#18. These foods have been linked to improved digestion and immune function, and they may positively influence mental health through the gut-brain axis.

#19. The natural fermentation process enhances the nutritional profile of these foods and contributes to a healthy microbiome.

Educating oneself on ingredient lists and nutritional information is essential for making informed food choices. By reading labels carefully, consumers can reduce their intake of ultra-processed foods and avoid additives that may be harmful.

#20. Choosing products with recognizable ingredients and minimal additives helps ensure that the food is closer to its natural state, providing better nutritional value.

Supporting local and sustainable food systems also plays a crucial role in healthier eating. Purchasing from local farmers and participating in community-supported agriculture promotes the consumption of fresher, seasonal produce while reducing the environmental impact associated with long-distance food transportation.

#21. This approach not only benefits individual health but also supports local economies and promotes more sustainable agricultural practices.

Cooking at home is a practical and empowering way to improve one’s diet. Preparing meals at home allows for control over ingredients and cooking methods, reducing reliance on ultra-processed foods.

#22. Home cooking encourages the use of whole foods and can be a rewarding experience that fosters a deeper connection with the food we eat.

Conclusion

The rise of ultra-processed foods is intertwined with societal changes, technological advancements, and economic factors. While they have met certain needs by providing convenience, affordability, and accessibility, the health implications of excessive consumption are a growing concern. By understanding their history and impact, individuals can make informed dietary choices that prioritize health and well-being.

Embracing whole and minimally processed foods, incorporating fermented products, and being mindful of food sourcing are practical steps towards improving health. Such changes not only benefit individual well-being but also contribute to more sustainable and ethical food systems. The journey towards healthier eating is a collective effort that begins with individual decisions and extends to supporting broader systemic changes in how we produce and consume food.

References

1. Fernandez-Armesto, F. (2002). Food: A History. Macmillan. 
2. Monteiro, C. A., et al. (2013). Ultra-processing of foods and its impact on nutrition and health. Public Health Nutrition, 16(12), 2240-2248. 
3. Moubarac, J. C., et al. (2014). Food classification systems based on food processing: significance and implications for policies and actions. Public Health Nutrition, 17(10), 2250-2252. 
4. Jabs, J., & Devine, C. M. (2006). Time scarcity and food choices: an overview.
   Appetite, 47(2), 196-204. 
5. Floros, J. D., et al. (2010). Feeding the world today and tomorrow: the importance of food science and technology. Comprehensive Reviews in Food Science and Food Safety, 9(5), 572-599. 
6. Drewnowski, A., & Popkin, B. M. (1997). The nutrition transition: new trends in the global diet. Nutrition Reviews, 55(2), 31-43. 
7. Stuckler, D., & Nestle, M. (2012). Big food, food systems, and global health. PLoS Medicine, 9(6), e1001242. 
8. United Nations. (2018). World Urbanization Prospects: The 2018 Revision. Department of Economic and Social Affairs. 
9. Darmon, N., & Drewnowski, A. (2008). Does social class predict diet quality? The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 87(5), 1107-1117. 
10. Smith, L. P., Ng, S. W., & Popkin, B. M. (2013). Trends in US home food preparation and consumption: analysis of national nutrition surveys and time use studies from 1965–1966 to 2007–2008. Nutrition Journal, 12(1), 45. 
11. Fardet, A. (2016). Minimally processed foods are more satiating and less hyperglycemic than ultra-processed foods: a preliminary study with 98 ready-to-eat foods. Food & Function, 7(5), 2338-2346. 
12. Lawrence, M. A., & Baker, P. I. (2019). Ultra-processed food and adverse health outcomes. BMJ, 365, l2289. 
13. Schnabel, L., et al. (2019). Association between ultra-processed food consumption and risk of mortality among middle-aged adults in France. BMJ, 365, l1949. 
14. Singh, R. K., et al. (2017). Influence of diet on the gut microbiome and implications for human health. Journal of Translational Medicine, 15(1), 73. 
15. Chassaing, B., et al. (2015). Dietary emulsifiers impact the mouse gut microbiota promoting colitis and metabolic syndrome. Nature, 519(7541), 92-96. 
16. Tilman, D., & Clark, M. (2014). Global diets link environmental sustainability and human health. Nature, 515(7528), 518-522. 
17. Slavin, J. L., & Lloyd, B. (2012). Health benefits of fruits and vegetables. Advances in Nutrition, 3(4), 506-516. 
18. Marco, M. L., et al. (2017). Health benefits of fermented foods: microbiota and beyond. Current Opinion in Biotechnology, 44, 94-102. 
19. Cryan, J. F., et al. (2019). The microbiota-gut-brain axis. Physiological Reviews, 99(4), 1877-2013. 
20. Campos, S., Doxey, J., & Hammond, D. (2011). Nutrition labels on pre-packaged foods: a systematic review. Public Health Nutrition, 14(8), 1496-1506. 
21. Galli, F., & Brunori, G. (2013). Short food supply chains as drivers of sustainable development. Evidence Document. UN Food and Agriculture Organization. 
22. Wolfson, J. A., & Bleich, S. N. (2015). Is cooking at home associated with better diet quality or weight-loss intention? Public Health Nutrition, 18(8), 1397-1406. 

By Dr. Justin James Kennedy

Does Meditation Stress You Out? Here’s What I Do Instead!

My first blog was about a Buddhist! It all began on a sun-drenched beach in Dubai, where I stumbled upon a perplexed Buddhist monk trying to snap a selfie with the ocean. So I offered to help, and that small act of kindness spiralled into a whirlwind of unexpected experiences. Before I knew it, I attended meditation retreats and gave corporate presentations alongside my newfound monk friend. A few years on, and here I am, still trying—and mostly failing—to meditate.

Neuroscience has a wealth of research backing up meditation (thanks, Schlechta Portella et al., 2021!). With countless fMRI studies and meta-analyses (shout out to Fox et al., 2016) singing the praises of mindfulness, it’s hard not to feel a little left out when I don’t experience the same magical transformation. Instead, I’m left feeling guilty for not “getting it.” So, after countless attempts, I’ve decided to ditch the pressure and find ways to unwind, relieve stress, and—most importantly—ditch the guilt.

Why It Isn’t for Me!

Meditation is ubiquitous, particularly mindfulness meditation, which has become the trendiest practice since bell bottoms! It promises numerous benefits: personal transformation, improved mental health, enhanced focus, reduced stress, and entrepreneurial success. I admit I was drawn into the hype—attending mindfulness workshops, downloading all the apps (Headspace, anyone?), and chatting with meditation experts like my monk friend. But guess what? I never found it enjoyable or helpful. Seated meditation often stresses me out (I have a bad knee and cannot cross my legs).

Feeling guilty, I decided to open up about my meditation struggles and discovered I wasn’t alone. Many friends admitted they found meditation underwhelming or even irritating. Not everyone can find their zen in sitting still and watching their breath. Yet, the prevailing narrative—especially in the West—often makes those who don’t enjoy meditation feel as though they are missing out on a crucial life skill.

The Dark Side of Meditation

These conversations have revealed that meditation isn’t always the peaceful, calming practice it’s touted to be. Emerging evidence suggests it can sometimes have negative effects. Meditation doesn’t automatically improve everything; it simply brings awareness to what’s already lurking beneath the surface. And for some, that awareness can be a bit unsettling.

Why Meditation Stresses Me Out

Let’s be real: meditation is hard work! It’s supposed to be relaxing, but, it feels like a chore. I know it’s not meant to be a quick fix, but as someone who thrives on challenges, I secretly hoped for at least a few small wins. After years of trying to be mindful—through guided meditations and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) courses—I’ve found it nearly impossible to sit still and “just be” for thirty seconds or more. Instead of feeling peaceful, I usually end up emotionally drained and frustrated.

So, I’ve waved goodbye to meditation. I’ve stopped forcing myself to sit quietly and follow my breath because it stresses me out. Instead, I’m on a journey of exploration and self-discovery to find other ways to find calm that feel far more natural and enjoyable.

What I Do Instead

Rather than meditation, I’ve explored a variety of practices that help me manage stress and cultivate self-awareness. These various techniques seem to work for me:

• Exercise
  Every day (weather permitting), I hit the woods! If I am near the ocean, I swim! Exercise doesn’t require the mental gymnastics that meditation does. There’s no pressure to do it “right.” I simply soak in my surroundings. Letting my mind wander feels infinitely more relaxing than trying to count my breaths. After exercising I like to stretch and then sit and spend a few minutes, slowing my breathing. Maybe this is meditating?
• Feeling My Feelings
  So, what’s the deal with emotions and feelings? Instead of wrestling with this like a linguist, I embraced my inner emotional Sherlock. What do feelings ‘feel’ like? By playing detective with my emotions, I discovered not only what made me tick emotionally but also that my cravings had less power over me. Who knew curiosity was the secret weapon in this emotional wrestling match? It turns out, this is actually ‘mindfulness’ but without the stress of breathing with my eyes closed.
• Napping
  Ah, the bliss of napping! After lunch I let myself indulge in a guilt-free snooze… a Super Siesta! Napping refreshes me but is scientifically proven to enhance mood, creativity, and memory. Plus, there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to nap—just glorious snoring! But maybe it’s yoga nidra?

Yoga Nidra vs. Meditation: What’s the Difference?

While both yoga nidra and meditation promote relaxation, they differ significantly. Yoga Nidra involves lying down and guiding you into a profound state of conscious sleep. For me, it feels just like napping.

Conclusion

Meditation isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s perfectly okay! While some find serenity in the practice, others (like me) experience stress and frustration. Instead of forcing myself into something that doesn’t resonate, I’ve chosen to explore alternative methods to manage stress and cultivate mindfulness—ways that feel more authentic and enjoyable. Whether wandering through nature, diving into the ocean, or taking a blissful nap, I’ve discovered many ways to find calm without sitting cross-legged on a cushion. So, here’s to celebrating our unique paths to peace!

Reference:

1. Schlechta Portella CF, Ghelman R, Abdala V, Schveitzer MC, Afonso RF. Meditation: Evidence Map of Systematic Reviews. Front Public Health. 2021 Dec 2;9:742715. doi: 10.3389/fpubh.2021.742715. PMID: 34926371; PMCID: PMC8674467.
   
   
2. Fox KC, Dixon ML, Nijeboer S, Girn M, Floman JL, Lifshitz M, Ellamil M, Sedlmeier P, Christoff K. Functional neuroanatomy of meditation: A review and meta-analysis of 78 functional neuroimaging investigations. Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2016 Jun;65:208-28. doi: 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2016.03.021. Epub 2016 Mar 28. PMID: 27032724.

By Tyler Mongan

Close your eyes for a moment. Think about a goal you’ve been wanting to achieve. Now, imagine yourself in the future where you’ve accomplished that goal. What do you see around you? What are you wearing? Who’s with you? Most importantly, how do you feel? Take a moment to really sink into those feelings. Notice the sensations in your body, the emotions that arise. Hold onto them, they’re more powerful than you might think.

In this article, we’re going to explore why your goals don’t matter as much as you think they do, and why “feeling the future” might be the secret to unlocking your potential and finding true happiness.

The GUT Model of Goals

We all have different goals. Maybe you want to ace your next exam, land your dream job, hit a specific income target, master a new skill, or even colonize Mars (Hello Elon Musk). These goals might seem vastly different on the surface, but they all share three crucial elements:

1. Gap: There’s a distance between where you are now and where you want to be.
2. Uncertainty: The path to your goal is filled with unknowns and potential obstacles.
3. Transformation: Achieving your goal requires you to become a different version of yourself.

These three elements form what I call the GUT of goal-setting. Understanding this model can help you approach your goals with greater clarity and purpose. But before we dive deeper into how to use the GUT model, we need to address a fundamental question: Where do our goals really come from?

The Subconscious Roots of Our Goals

We often think our goals are the product of careful reflection, a deep understanding of ourselves, and a clear vision of what we want in life. But the truth is much more complex.

As children, we develop survival strategies. These strategies are all about moving from one feeling state to another, typically from a “bad” feeling to a “good” feeling. For instance, a baby learns that crying (the strategy) can make the unpleasant feeling of hunger go away and be replaced by the pleasant feeling of being full and content (the goal).

These early survival strategies don’t disappear as we grow older. Instead, they evolve and influence our behavior in subtle ways. As we mature we start to attribute these feeling states to specific goals. We feel hungry, so our goal becomes to get food to feel satiated. We feel lonely, so our goal becomes to find companionship to feel loved.

But here’s the kicker: these goals aren’t always what we truly want. They’re often just the strategies we’ve learned to change our feeling states.

Finding the Feeling Behind the Goal

Let’s do a thought experiment. Imagine you’re seeking companionship because you want to feel love. Now, imagine you could take a pill or hook up to a device that gave you the feeling of love instantly. Would you still seek out a companion? If the answer is no, then your true goal wasn’t companionship, it was the feeling of love.

This realization leads us to a profound truth: We often attribute a feeling to a goal, when what we really want is just the feeling itself.

But there’s another important consideration. If you already feel love, do you think you’re more or less likely to find a companion? And do you think you’ll find a better companion if you’re seeking one to feel love, or if you already feel love and are looking for someone to share it with?

The pattern we develop as babies, “feel X, want to feel Y, need goal Z to get there” makes sense when we have no control over our feelings and need to manipulate our environment to get what we need. But as we age and mature, if we keep using the same strategy, we might find that achieving our goals doesn’t satisfy us or give us the feelings we want.

Chasing Feelings

Let me share a story that illustrates this point. I once met a gentleman who had sold two companies and made over $300 million dollars. From the outside, his life seemed perfect, he had the means to get anything he wanted. But internally, he was miserable.

I later found out that he had been abused as a child. There was a feeling of love and respect he was desperately trying to activate through his goals, but he couldn’t find it no matter how much money he had. This feeling was so strong that it drove him to build multi-million dollar companies, all in an attempt to find that elusive feeling.

Then one day, after years of chasing that feeling through external goals, he found what he was looking for inside himself. The feelings of love and respect were there all along, but he thought he had to achieve certain goals before he could allow himself to feel them. All he had to do was activate those feelings.

When he finally activated the feelings of love and respect, it opened up new possibilities. He was no longer stuck chasing goals to get a certain feeling. Instead, he found new goals, like helping others and building a better world.

Feeling X, to Get Goal Y

This story leads us to a profound realization: As mature adults, we should have control over our feelings. We can activate the feelings we want either through immediate self-determination or through other strategies.

This is a game-changing shift in how we see goals. It’s not about “if I get this goal, I will feel a certain way.” Instead, it’s “if I feel this way, I will get the goal.”

Let’s go back to the love example. Instead of seeking a companion to feel love, if you activate the feeling of love first and hold onto that feeling, you’ve already achieved the goal in a way. Moreover, if you feel love and then seek out a companion, it will not only be easier to find one, but you’ll probably find a much better companion to share that love with. 

Feeling the Future: A New Approach to Goal Achievement

So, let’s summarize what we’ve discussed so far. As babies, goals are means to change our feeling states. As we mature, we think the goal is the feeling. The reality is we can activate the feeling without achieving the goal, and in a sense achieve the goal immediately through feelings. And this might change our goals or make them easier to achieve.

This leads us to a revolutionary approach to goal achievement: Feel the feeling as if you’ve already achieved the goal. In other words, we need to feel the future.

Now, let’s return to the GUT model and see how “feeling the future” can help. By consciously engaging with the emotional and physical sensations of achieving our goals, we can:

Distinguish between subconsciously driven goals and authentic desires:
If we activate the feeling and no longer want to achieve the goal, then it wasn’t really authentic. For example, I know a woman who was really stressed at work and felt like she needed a break. Her goal was to go on vacation as soon as possible. She started researching destinations, flights, hotels, and attractions. After imagining herself there, she realized she already felt like she had taken a vacation. She decided she just needed to feel less stressed and saved a lot of money by just feeling more relaxed.

Increase motivation by making the goal feel more tangible:
When you feel the future, you start to build a neurophysiological connection to it. Your brain and body don’t know the difference between imagining the past and imagining the future. So as you feel the future, your brain and body start to create a memory of the future, as if you’ve already achieved that goal.

Identify potential obstacles and resources needed for success:
As you develop the skill to feel the future, you become aware of what’s holding you back from achieving the goal. Maybe it’s an old subconscious pattern, or maybe it’s a bad strategy. As you feel the future, these limitations become less influential, and you start to see new pathways to your desired future.

Applying “Feeling the Future” to the GUT Model

Let’s break down how this concept applies to each component of the GUT Model:

Bridging the Gap:
Visualize yourself in the state of having achieved your goal. What does it look like? Feel like? This vivid mental image can help you identify the steps needed to bridge the gap. More importantly, we can shift our understanding of the gap from “If I achieve goal X, I get feeling Y” to “If I feel Y, then I have already achieved goal X or am more likely to achieve it.” We’ve changed how we understand bridging the gap.

Reducing Uncertainty:
As you “feel” your future success and goal achievement, imagine you’re really in that future. Imagine that the future has already happened. Activate as many sensations and positive emotions as you can. Create the memory of that future in your neurophysiology. By engaging your sensory imagination, you’re better prepared to handle the uncertainty of reality. Now your brain and body feel more certain about your ability to achieve the goal.

Enhancing Transformation:
Feeling your future allows you to see the person you want to become to achieve that goal. This not only makes the transformation feel more achievable and increases your commitment to change, but it also helps you activate the feelings of that new you in the present. You start to embody the transformation required to achieve the goal. You start to become the future you in the present. 

A Practical Exercise in “Feeling the Future”

Let’s go back to the goal you imagined at the beginning of this article. Again, imagine yourself in the future where you’ve already achieved the goal. How do you feel? Activate those feelings throughout your body and mind, then see if you can amplify them. Make the imagination as vivid as possible. What are you wearing? Where are you at? What does the surroundings look like, smell like and what do you hear? What do you feel in your body? 

Now, imagine someone you know, someone who plays an important part in your life, standing in front of you. Look them in the eyes and tell them all about the goal you’ve achieved. Notice how excited they are for you. See how their positive feelings amplify your own feelings even more.

Tell yourself, I have already achieved the goal. It has already happened. 

Try to hold onto these feelings throughout your day and notice what happens. You might be surprised at how this simple exercise can shift your perspective and even your reality.

Conclusion

You see, your goals don’t matter as much as you might think. What matters more is your ability to feel the future, to experience the emotions and sensations associated with achieving your goals before you actually achieve them.

This approach doesn’t just make goal achievement easier; it can also help you identify which goals are truly important to you and which ones are just strategies you’ve developed to change your feeling states.

By mastering the art of feeling the future, you can transform your approach to goal-setting and achievement. You’ll be able to distinguish between authentic desires and subconsciously driven goals, increase your motivation, and identify potential obstacles and resources for success.

Your goals don’t matter as much as you think. Try feeling the future instead. You might just find that bridging the Gap to your goal, facing the Uncertainty of achievement and embracing the Transformation of self, is much easier than you ever imagined.

By Dr. Justin James Kennedy

Emotional Deprivation and Its Impact on Neuroplasticity

Ever feel stuck in the same emotional rut, no matter how hard you try to change? You might be dealing with Early Maladaptive Schemas—deep-rooted beliefs and patterns from childhood that shape how we see ourselves and relate to others. These dysfunctional patterns, identified by Young et al., cover everything from feeling disconnected to a lack of self-control. But there’s hope! Enter neuroplasticity, the brain’s amazing ability to rewire and adapt. A neuroplastician can use targeted coaching tools to challenge these old patterns, helping you build healthier behaviors and relationships. Ready to break free and boost your emotional well-being? Let’s dive in to understand neuroplasticity!

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s remarkable ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. This phenomenon underlies our capacity to learn, adapt, and change, making it a central focus in understanding human behavior and cognition. Leveraging neuroplasticity through Neuroplastician-led brain coaching offers a promising avenue for addressing emotional deprivation and other EMS-related challenges., Neuroplasticians empower individuals to overcome historical traumas, build resilience, and improve their overall quality of life, by focusing on cognitive, emotional, and relational aspects

Emotional Deprivation and Its Impact

Emotional deprivation, a significant aspect of early maladaptive schemas (EMS), often leads to a variety of challenges. These range from burnout, pain, and trauma to other emotional issues. A Neuroplastician can play a vital role in addressing these challenges through targeted brain coaching. EMS may need clinical intervention but here we speak about non-clinical examples, starting with Sarah.

Sarah’s Journey to Emotional Healing

Sarah, a 35-year-old marketing executive is a really ‘’professional’ professional but struggled with emotional deprivation stemming from childhood experiences of feeling neglected by her parents. This led her to develop maladaptive coping mechanisms, including overworking and avoiding close relationships.

Upon consulting with a Neuroplastician, Sarah began a brain coaching program tailored to her needs. Neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life, was a key concept in her treatment. The Neuroplastician utilized various tools to harness this innate capability to enhance Sarah’s emotional well-being:

• Cognitive Interventions: The Neuroplastician helped Sarah identify and challenge her unhelpful thinking patterns. Utilizing the brain’s neuroplasticity, Sarah learned to recognize when she was catastrophizing situations and how to reframe them more positively. By repeatedly practicing these cognitive interventions, Sarah’s brain formed new neural pathways, making it easier to adopt healthier thought patterns over time.
• Emotion-Focused Interventions: Sarah was introduced to mindfulness techniques, a tool that leverages neuroplasticity to reshape the brain’s response to stress and emotions. Over time, practicing mindfulness allowed Sarah to become more aware of her emotional triggers and learn strategies to regulate her responses, leading to improved emotional well-being.
• Relational Interventions: Through role-playing exercises, Sarah practiced effective communication and boundary-setting. These relational interventions helped her form new neural connections related to interpersonal skills, reducing feelings of isolation and improving her ability to connect with others.
• Behavioral Interventions: Goal-setting played a vital role in Sarah’s brain coaching program. With the Neuroplastician’s guidance, she set achievable goals to break her maladaptive patterns. By consistently practicing new behaviors, such as taking regular breaks during work hours and engaging in social activities, Sarah’s brain adapted and formed new neural pathways that supported these adaptive behaviors.

After several months of brain coaching, Sarah reported significant improvements in her emotional well-being. She felt more connected to others, experienced less anxiety, and found joy in her relationships and work. The tools and strategies employed by the Neuroplastician not only addressed Sarah’s immediate challenges but leveraged the brain’s neuroplasticity to promote lasting change and resilience.

The Neuroplastician: An Expert Brain Coach

In neuroscience, the role of a Neuroplastician emerges as pivotal. Acting as an expert brain coach, a Neuroplastician helps individuals harness the power of neuroplasticity to optimize their cognitive functions, emotional well-being, and overall quality of life.

The Complexity of Emotional Deprivation Schema

Recognizing emotional deprivation schema involves understanding its multifaceted components. It encompasses feelings of loneliness, isolation, and the belief that one is uncared for. These perceptions often stem from childhood experiences where individuals felt unsupported or unaffectionate environments.

Coaching for Emotional Well-being

Coaching by a neuroplastician focuses on enhancing cognitive processes, emotional regulation, and relational skills. When individuals feel that others are indifferent or expect them to intuitively understand their needs, it highlights the importance of coaching. A neuroplastician can help individuals recognize, validate, and effectively express their emotional needs.

Overcoming Historical Traumas

Historical feelings of loneliness or unaffectionateness, often rooted in childhood, can have lasting impacts. A Neuroplastician helps individuals overcome these traumas by providing the emotional care they need. This involves understanding what it means to feel affectionate, comforting, or attentive and learning to feel understood.

Neuropsychological Safety in Coaching

Addressing preconscious and emotional traumas requires a safe environment. Neuroplasticians are skilled in creating neuropsychologically safe spaces where clients can become aware of and change these traumas effectively.

Schema Therapy: A Brief Overview

Schema therapy, initially developed to treat complex psychological difficulties, offers an integrative approach to understanding EMS. It combines various therapeutic methods and emphasizes the developmental origins of psychological issues.

• Early Maladaptive Schemas (EMS)
  EMS are negative, pervasive themes or patterns regarding oneself and one’s relationship with others. Emotional deprivation is a prevalent EMS characterized by a chronic sense of emptiness, loneliness, and unmet emotional needs.
• Core Emotional Needs and Schema Development
  Young and colleagues identified five core emotional needs rooted in Bowlby’s attachment theory. When these needs are unmet during childhood, they can lead to the development of early maladaptive schemas (EMS). They include:

“Secure attachments (e.g., safety, acceptance)
Autonomy and identity
Freedom to express needs and emotions
Spontaneity and play
Realistic limits and self-control”

• Coping Styles and EMS Perpetuation
  Coping styles develop in childhood and operate outside of awareness to manage EMS. These coping styles, like surrender, avoidance, and overcompensation, play a central role in perpetuating EMS.

Coaching Strategies for Neuroplasticity

Harnessing neuroplasticity for emotional well-being involves specific coaching strategies:

• Cognitive Interventions: These include challenging unhelpful thinking patterns and promoting cognitive flexibility.
• Emotion-Focused Interventions: Techniques like mindfulness and emotional regulation help individuals manage and express emotions effectively.
• Relational Interventions: Building healthy interpersonal relationships through effective communication and boundary-setting.
• Behavioral Interventions: Encouraging adaptive behaviors and breaking maladaptive patterns through goal-setting and reinforcement.

Conclusion

Harnessing neuroplasticity for emotional well-being involves specific coaching strategies that address cognitive, emotional, relational, and behavioral aspects. Neuroplasticians guide individuals through this transformative journey, helping them challenge unhelpful thinking patterns, manage emotions effectively, build healthy relationships, and adopt adaptive behaviors.

The client stories of Sarah illustrate the profound impact of Neuroplastician-led brain coaching in overcoming emotional deprivation and EMS-related challenges. Through tailored interventions and continuous support, individuals can heal from historical traumas, build resilience and improve their overall quality of life. As our understanding of neuroplasticity continues to evolve, the potential for Neuroplasticians to make a difference in people’s lives grows, offering hope and empowerment to those seeking to transform their emotional well-being.

By Taíno Bendz

Strengthening Family Bonds in a Digital World

Ever put a crying toddler in front of a screen? It’s pretty much instant pacification! 

While technology can offer quick fixes, its growing role in family life brings deep concerns. A US national poll in 2023 showed that parents’ top worries were overuse of devices, social media, and internet safety. 

Managing tech-life balance is crucial not just for screen time but for learning, connection, and emotional health.

In this piece you will learn how digital tech affects younger people, and how you can support them in managing devices, and what benefits it can bring. 

What impact can digital tech have on kids & adolescents?

Research on the effects of digital technology on children and adolescents points to both positive and negative aspects, and it is hard to draw any strict conclusions as there is a lack of long term studies. 

On the positive side, digital learning tools, including apps and interactive platforms, can boost academic performance, especially in subjects like math and science, and can increase problem solving skills and critical thinking as well as collaboration and teamwork. 

A study published by the Pew Research Center (2018) found that 81% of teens said social media helps them feel more connected to their friends and allows them to meet new people with similar interests. These platforms can also support those with social anxieties, giving them an opportunity to communicate in ways that feel safer. Digital tech can also have positive effects on global awareness and understanding, and be a good support for children with special needs. Some studies point out that moderate screen use can actually be beneficial for kids´development. 

What gets the most attention though, are the potential negative effects. This can be a gloomy read, but it can be important to understand to be able to manage with the right strategies.

An obvious area is physical activity, where the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting screen time for children due to its association with sedentary behaviors and contribution to obesity. Excessive screen time can also result in eye strain, neck pain, and hearing issues.

Children and adolescents who use screens before bed often experience shorter sleep durations and lower sleep quality, largely due to the stimulating effects of blue light and the content they engage with. Not only does it make falling asleep harder, but I´ve had many parents tell me that their adolescents are online during the night.

Social media is heavily debated, and excessive use of these addictive platforms has been linked to significant mental health concerns, including increased anxiety, depression, loneliness, and exposure to harmful content. Adolescents who spend more time on screen-based activities are more likely to report these issues compared to peers who engage in non-screen activities like sports or face-to-face socializing.

Using devices to pacify young children can inhibit their ability to develop emotional regulation, as they miss opportunities to learn how to self-soothe without relying on screens.

High consumption of digital media could also be associated with shorter attention spans and lower classroom performance among children. The fast-paced nature of much digital content can interfere with the ability to focus on more demanding tasks.

Lastly, and perhaps paradoxically, while social media can facilitate online communication, it can also hinder the development of face-to-face social skills. One study found that children who had five days away from screens showed improvements in their ability to read nonverbal social cues as they were forced to pay more attention to the interactions. This is something that I, anecdotally, hear a lot, around children and adolescents who are uncomfortable talking in person or on the phone.

With these potential effects in mind, how can we help children and adolescents develop healthier tech habits?

How to Achieve Tech-Life Balance with kids and adolescents

Reflection

If you have read my previous Kokoro-pieces you know I believe that change starts with reflection. So before we go into practical tips on how to manage screen time & tech use, we will start with a reflection exercise. Consider these questions, preferably together with your child or adolescent: 

• Which devices are we using at home? (both adults and kids)
• What do we like about our tech use? What positive experiences do we have?
• What negative consequences or effects do we notice? E.g. arguments, sleep, homework, connection in family 
• What concerns do we have about tech use?
• How would we like to change tech use in the family? And how can we make family time as fun as possible with non-tech activities?

One way to reach everyone in the family can be that each person gets to talk about their own experience. As an adult you can also open by saying that you have reflected on your own tech use and its impact on yourself and the family. 

If it feels right for you, you could even ask the child or adolescent how much screen time they themselves think is appropriate, and how they intend on keeping that limit. 

When you have reflected and maybe even had the “tech talk”, you can consider these strategies: 

5 simple practices towards tech-life balance

#1: Be a role model
How can you change your own digital habits? Lead by example e.g. by putting away your phone at home, making an effort to change your own tech habits, and engage in offline activities.

#2: Implement offline areas and times
As a minimum meal time and evenings after a certain time.

#3: Engage in both on, and off screen activities together
Instead of everyone being on their own device, why not have a good ol’ movie night. Or get them to show you the games they are playing. And make an effort in arranging activities that can compete with the screen.

#4: Talk about online safety
This is a super important topic for any age and should include e.g. limiting sharing personal information / images, being critical for fake content & frauds, online bullying and security. 

#5: Follow screen time guidelines & age limits
This is also a good way of making someone else the scapegoat, simply referring to rules: follow the age limits on games, movies, screen time, social media platforms.

Many parents I talk to struggle with this, and it is indeed hard. But rest assured it can be done. 

When managing tech use in families, generational differences—between ‘digital immigrants,’ who didn’t grow up with technology, and ‘digital natives,’ who have always been surrounded by it—can often lead to friction in setting boundaries.”

Bridging the tech-gap: Digital immigrants and natives

As a digital immigrant, I didn’t grow up with technology as a constant presence—it was something I learned to use later in life. This can lead to a preference for face-to-face conversations, focusing on one task at a time, and a more deliberate approach to using tech.

In contrast, digital natives have grown up with screens and devices as part of their daily lives. They switch between tasks effortlessly, are deeply engaged in social media, and seem to be “always connected.” This difference can create friction when setting boundaries or trying to balance screen time.

Understanding these differences can help you approach tech use with more empathy. Rather than seeing the divide as a challenge, it can be an opportunity to learn from each other. By combining the intentionality of digital immigrants with the fluency of digital natives, families can find a balance that works for everyone.

Have you noticed differences in how different generations approach tech use? 

My own family situation

I´ve got three kids born in 2015, 2018 and 2024. We have a TV, they have an iPad, and both my wife and I have smartphones. With our first child it definitely happened that we used the screen as a pacifier. I remember one chaotic lunch on a holiday where we had to put a screen in front of him to get him to calm down and have some food. (now I reflect – did we really have to or was it another shortcut?). Along with my deep dive in this topic our screen time habits have changed a lot and during the last 5 or so years we have had a very minimalistic and intentional tech use in the family. For the two bigger kids it means that they get to watch TV and movies occasionally, often together with one of us. They have 4×15 min sessions of using their iPad per week, and often do so together. There is rarely any nagging or conflicts around screen usage. 

The baby has no screen time whatsoever. All in all it feels like we use tech as a tool, or as entertainment, in a way that has a positive effect. The kids also love playing video games in their granddad’s Tesla, which has become a special bonding activity.

What does intentional and minimalistic tech use mean for adults then? We avoid using our phones in front of the kids, and when we do we always tell them what we are doing. We have no screens at the dinner table, or when interacting with the kids. It does happen that we need to take work calls, but then we talk about it and explain.

Many of the kids´ friends have their own phones, although the peer pressure has not become too intense yet. Some of their friends play Fortnight and Roblox, and some Pokémon Go, but as of now it has not become an issue. We try to find other ways of making things special, involving them, giving them responsibilities (for example, they go grocery shopping on their own and get to pick a special treat), and engage with them in board games, outdoor activities and other things they enjoy. 

Who knows what the future will bring, and I know that handling teenagers tech use is a completely different thing, but I am hopeful that we can reach them through some of the strategies mentioned above, which I hope that you also have use for!

In the short term, it is harder parenting with low tech use, but in the long term we believe in the benefits for the family, and for the kids´ development.

By reflecting and making intentional choices, you can help your children develop healthy habits that support their growth and connection. The journey may take time, but the positive outcomes are well worth the effort.

Why not start today by having a family reflection session on your tech use and set one screen-free evening a week? Small changes can make a big difference in family dynamics and your children’s development.

If you’ve found these strategies useful or have your own experiences to share, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to reach out at taino@tainobendz.com.

By Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides

How to Master Our Fears through Compassion and a Growth Mindset

When I tell people I’m a clinical psychologist, one of the most frequent questions I get (aside from “Can you read my mind?”) is: “What’s the most common reason people come to therapy?”

The answer is fear. While fear manifests in countless ways, at its core, most struggles stem from it. Here’s a statement that may sound controversial, but I believe is true: Even depression arises from fear. Let me explain.

Understanding Our Emotion Regulation Systems

We have three main emotion regulation systems that evolved to work in harmony:

#1: The Threat/Avoidance System: This system scans for threats in our environment and releases chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline to keep us vigilant. It also monitors our internal state, alerting us to potential dangers in our body. On top of that, we have the ability to anticipate future threats, which we call “worry” or “anxiety.” This capacity for prediction has helped humans thrive by preparing for potential problems before they arise.

#2: The Reward/Goal Attainment System: This system gives us a sense of power and personal success. When we accomplish something, dopamine is released, which motivates us to pursue future goals. The reward and threat systems work closely together—when faced with a challenge, our brain assesses whether we’re likely to succeed or fail. High confidence leads to excitement; low confidence leads to fear and avoidance. Success releases dopamine, reinforcing the sense that we can handle life’s challenges, while repeated failure can erode that confidence and diminish our sense of personal power.

#3: The Rest/Digest (Affiliative) System: This network activates when we’re in a state of peace or connection, allowing us to feel calm and fulfilled. It’s driven by oxytocin, which promotes feelings of love, bonding, and safety. Unlike the other systems, the affiliative system doesn’t operate on success or failure—it’s about being present and content, often through relationships and self-compassion.

Fear, Anxiety, and Depression

Anxiety arises when the threat/avoidance system is overactive, constantly anticipating negative outcomes. This leads to heightened worry and physical symptoms such as restlessness and tension. In this state, dopamine is low because we’re avoiding opportunities for success, which would trigger its release.

Depression, on the other hand, occurs when we feel powerless—unable to control or influence our circumstances. Dopamine, which fuels our motivation and sense of power, is diminished in depression. This lack of motivation and feeling of hopelessness can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming, causing us to withdraw further into a state of paralysis. Depression, in many ways, is the result of chronic low power—when we repeatedly fail or believe we will fail, we start to avoid challenges altogether.

Consider my personal example: I was preparing to present a workshop to a new audience. Despite having run this workshop successfully before, the new context triggered a fear of failure. My mind oscillated between excitement and self-doubt. My internal dialogue fluctuated—part of me felt confident, while another part was anxious. In the end, what helped me was activating my affiliative system by offering myself compassion and support. I reminded myself that no matter how the workshop went, I would be proud of my effort.

How Fear Manifests in Existential Concerns

Our fears often revolve around three existential concerns, all related to survival and evolutionary goals:

#1: Physical Health: We need to trust in our body’s strength and resilience.

#2: Social Connections: We must feel loveable and socially accepted to form bonds that are essential for survival.

#3: Competence: We need to believe in our intelligence and ability to develop skills that will help us succeed and thrive.

When we lack confidence in any of these areas, it results in anxiety or depression. Fear drives us to avoid situations where we feel we might fail, but avoidance also prevents us from experiencing the very successes that would help us grow.

Overcoming Fear: Tips to Regain Power

Overcoming fear involves rewiring our brain to approach challenges with courage, rather than avoiding them. Here are some strategies:

#1: Activate Self-Compassion: Fear thrives on self-criticism. Instead, offer yourself unconditional support. This helps shift from avoidance and fear-based thinking to acceptance and calm. Self-compassion activates the affiliative system, which reduces anxiety and increases resilience.

#2: Challenge Limiting Beliefs: Reflect on your early experiences and how they shaped your beliefs about success and failure. Are these beliefs realistic? Can you redefine what success means for you? Often, by reframing failure as a learning opportunity, we can reduce its power to induce fear.

#3: Lean Into Discomfort: Fear tells us to avoid discomfort, but by leaning into challenging situations with a growth mindset, we can rewire our brain to see them as opportunities for growth. Rather than running from situations that trigger fear, approach them with curiosity. Over time, this reduces the brain’s fear response.

#4: Focus on Small Wins: Depression makes us feel like success is out of reach. By focusing on small, achievable tasks, we can reignite the reward system and build momentum. Each small win releases dopamine, reinforcing our sense of power and motivating us to take on bigger challenges.

#5: Practice Gratitude and Connection: Genuine connection with others and gratitude practices help activate the rest/digest system. This reduces anxiety and fosters a sense of fulfillment, allowing us to experience joy without the pressure of achievement.

Conclusion

Fear, whether experienced as anxiety or depression, is a natural response to perceived threats. But when fear dominates, it prevents us from enjoying life’s successes and connections. By understanding how dopamine and our emotional regulation systems interact, we can see that much of our suffering comes from feeling powerless. Through self-compassion, challenging limiting beliefs, leaning into discomfort, and celebrating small successes, we can rewire our brains to reduce fear, increase our sense of personal power, and approach life with greater courage, excitement, and joy.

By Dr. Dave Hester

Quick Story… 

Danni was the epitome of mediocrity. They led a lackluster life, filled with monotony and an  abysmal routine that threatened to suffocate every inkling of adventure and spontaneity from  their soul. The advertising agency where they worked reduced them to a mere cog in a  gargantuan machine, creative inputs quashed under the dense bureaucracy and stringent  timelines. 

Their life was rutted into a groove: work, home, sleep, repeat. It wasn’t living; it was merely  existing. 

Danni is caught between burnout and thriving, Danni is languishing. 

The human experience encompasses a spectrum of emotional states, ranging from the depths of  despair to the heights of flourishing. Languishing, a state characterized by a pervasive sense of  emptiness and stagnation, occupies a distinct space on this spectrum. It differs from depression in  its absence of severe negative emotions. Still, it nonetheless hinders motivation, engagement, and  overall well-being.

Who Cares?

Languishing is characterized by a lack of motivation, engagement, and fulfillment. Keep in mind that languishing is not depression or sadness. It can be experienced as just ‘blah’ or ‘eh,’ maybe a little bit of ‘whatever.’ The research emerged from the neuroscience of emotions. To understand the neurological underpinnings of languishing and to explore pathways toward human thriving, we must delve into the intricate workings of the brain.

Chronic stress, a ubiquitous feature of modern life, can further exacerbate this condition. Neuro scientific research has shed light on the neural biological correlates of well-being and its antithesis conserved transcriptional response to adversity or (CTRA). Which is described as an increase in pro-inflammatory genes. In other words, some of us may have higher adverse childhood events (ACEs) and a propensity to respond strongly to stress (CTRA).

Stress activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, a complex neuroendocrine system that regulates our stress response. When chronically activated, the HPA axis can lead to elevated cortisol levels, which may impair the function of the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, areas crucial for emotional regulation and memory formation. This dysregulation can manifest as a lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating, and a general sense of emotional flatness – hallmarks of languishing.

Conversely, the brain’s reward system, centered around dopamine and serotonin, plays a crucial role in motivation, pleasure, and overall life satisfaction. When this system is dysregulated, individuals may experience a diminished capacity for experiencing joy and engagement, potentially leading to languishing.

Why try?

Fostering a brain environment conducive to well-being is imperative to move from languishing  towards human thriving. Engaging in activities that stimulate the release of dopamine and  serotonin, such as: 

1. NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest) 
2. Spending time in nature 
3. Cultivating social connections 
4. Accepting that I can’t control everything

What can I do? 

Cultivating a sense of purpose and meaning in life can be a powerful remedy to languishing.  Research suggests that individuals with a strong sense of purpose exhibit increased activation in  the ventral striatum, a vital component of the brain’s reward system, during goal-directed tasks.  Engaging in activities that align with one’s values and contribute to something larger than oneself  can foster a sense of fulfillment and connection, potentially propelling individuals toward  thriving. 

Sleep, often the first casualty of a busy lifestyle, is another critical pillar of human thriving.  Adequate sleep is not just about rest it’s about cognitive function, emotional regulation, and  overall well-being. During sleep, the glymphatic system, a recently discovered metabolic waste  disposal unit, clears pathways in the brain. It’s like having your own Roomba removing harmful  metabolites so your brain can function optimally. If not removed, these metabolites can  potentially become harmful. As you can imagine, chronic sleep deprivation can exacerbate  feelings of languishing and impair the brain’s ability to consolidate memories and process  emotions effectively. Therefore, prioritizing good sleep hygiene practices is crucial for optimal  brain function and emotional well-being. 

Nutrition plays a vital role in brain health. Eating clean, with a diet balanced in omega-3 fatty  acids, antioxidants, and vitamins (clinically proven) improves cognitive function and mood. 

Conversely, a diet high in processed foods and unhealthy fats can contribute to inflammation and  impair brain function.

How do I bring it all together?

It starts with self-assessment. It is vital to get to know yourself because the “self” is constantly  changing. While individual differences exist in how brains respond to these strategies,  incorporating them into daily life can significantly enhance one’s capacity for well-being. It is  essential to remember that personal growth is a journey, not a destination. It’s an ongoing and  ever-changing pursuit that involves active engagement and frequent introspection. 

Progress may not always be linear, and setbacks are inevitable. Understanding how you feel after  a good night’s sleep by journaling your progress or tracking your performance on a task can lead  to more discovery. Seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can  provide valuable guidance and encouragement along the way. Having a solid support system  provides a crucial safety net during difficult times. This could mean family, friends, therapists, or  even furry companions – after all, the power of pet therapy shouldn’t be underestimated. A  holistic approach that integrates physical, cognitive, and emotional well-being not just a choice,  it’s a necessity for cultivating a fulfilling and meaningful life beyond just existing.

Resources

1. Cole SW, Levine ME, Arevalo JM, Ma J, Weir DR, Crimmins EM. Loneliness,  eudaimonia, and the human conserved transcriptional response to adversity.  Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2015 Dec;62:11-7. doi: 10.1016/j.psyneuen.2015.07.001.  
2. Gao Y, Liu K, Zhu J. Glymphatic system: an emerging therapeutic approach for  neurological disorders. Front Mol Neurosci. 2023 Jul 6;16:1138769. doi:  10.3389/fnmol.2023. 
3. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal-hpa-axis
4.  https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg26234863-400-are-you-languishing-in-life heres-how-to-find-your-purpose-again/ 
5. https://learningwellmag.org/article/understanding-languishing-and-flourishing-with-dr corey-keyes 
6. Murdock, M.H., Yang, CY., Sun, N. et al. Multisensory gamma stimulation promotes  glymphatic clearance of amyloid. Nature 627, 149–156 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-024-07132-6 
7. Walton KG, Wenuganen S, Cole SW. Transcendental Meditation practitioners show  reduced expression of the Conserved Transcriptional Response to Adversity. Brain Behav  Immun Health. 2023 Aug 2;32:100672. doi: 10.1016/j.bbih.2023.100672.