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The Fearless Path

The Fearless Path

By Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides

How to Master Our Fears through Compassion and a Growth Mindset

When I tell people I’m a clinical psychologist, one of the most frequent questions I get (aside from “Can you read my mind?”) is: “What’s the most common reason people come to therapy?”

The answer is fear. While fear manifests in countless ways, at its core, most struggles stem from it. Here’s a statement that may sound controversial, but I believe is true: Even depression arises from fear. Let me explain.

Understanding Our Emotion Regulation Systems

We have three main emotion regulation systems that evolved to work in harmony:

#1: The Threat/Avoidance System: This system scans for threats in our environment and releases chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline to keep us vigilant. It also monitors our internal state, alerting us to potential dangers in our body. On top of that, we have the ability to anticipate future threats, which we call “worry” or “anxiety.” This capacity for prediction has helped humans thrive by preparing for potential problems before they arise.

#2: The Reward/Goal Attainment System: This system gives us a sense of power and personal success. When we accomplish something, dopamine is released, which motivates us to pursue future goals. The reward and threat systems work closely together—when faced with a challenge, our brain assesses whether we’re likely to succeed or fail. High confidence leads to excitement; low confidence leads to fear and avoidance. Success releases dopamine, reinforcing the sense that we can handle life’s challenges, while repeated failure can erode that confidence and diminish our sense of personal power.

#3: The Rest/Digest (Affiliative) System: This network activates when we’re in a state of peace or connection, allowing us to feel calm and fulfilled. It’s driven by oxytocin, which promotes feelings of love, bonding, and safety. Unlike the other systems, the affiliative system doesn’t operate on success or failure—it’s about being present and content, often through relationships and self-compassion.

Fear, Anxiety, and Depression

Anxiety arises when the threat/avoidance system is overactive, constantly anticipating negative outcomes. This leads to heightened worry and physical symptoms such as restlessness and tension. In this state, dopamine is low because we’re avoiding opportunities for success, which would trigger its release.

Depression, on the other hand, occurs when we feel powerless—unable to control or influence our circumstances. Dopamine, which fuels our motivation and sense of power, is diminished in depression. This lack of motivation and feeling of hopelessness can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming, causing us to withdraw further into a state of paralysis. Depression, in many ways, is the result of chronic low power—when we repeatedly fail or believe we will fail, we start to avoid challenges altogether.

Consider my personal example: I was preparing to present a workshop to a new audience. Despite having run this workshop successfully before, the new context triggered a fear of failure. My mind oscillated between excitement and self-doubt. My internal dialogue fluctuated—part of me felt confident, while another part was anxious. In the end, what helped me was activating my affiliative system by offering myself compassion and support. I reminded myself that no matter how the workshop went, I would be proud of my effort.

How Fear Manifests in Existential Concerns

Our fears often revolve around three existential concerns, all related to survival and evolutionary goals:

#1: Physical Health: We need to trust in our body’s strength and resilience.

#2: Social Connections: We must feel loveable and socially accepted to form bonds that are essential for survival.

#3: Competence: We need to believe in our intelligence and ability to develop skills that will help us succeed and thrive.

When we lack confidence in any of these areas, it results in anxiety or depression. Fear drives us to avoid situations where we feel we might fail, but avoidance also prevents us from experiencing the very successes that would help us grow.

Overcoming Fear: Tips to Regain Power

Overcoming fear involves rewiring our brain to approach challenges with courage, rather than avoiding them. Here are some strategies:

#1: Activate Self-Compassion: Fear thrives on self-criticism. Instead, offer yourself unconditional support. This helps shift from avoidance and fear-based thinking to acceptance and calm. Self-compassion activates the affiliative system, which reduces anxiety and increases resilience.

#2: Challenge Limiting Beliefs: Reflect on your early experiences and how they shaped your beliefs about success and failure. Are these beliefs realistic? Can you redefine what success means for you? Often, by reframing failure as a learning opportunity, we can reduce its power to induce fear.

#3: Lean Into Discomfort: Fear tells us to avoid discomfort, but by leaning into challenging situations with a growth mindset, we can rewire our brain to see them as opportunities for growth. Rather than running from situations that trigger fear, approach them with curiosity. Over time, this reduces the brain’s fear response.

#4: Focus on Small Wins: Depression makes us feel like success is out of reach. By focusing on small, achievable tasks, we can reignite the reward system and build momentum. Each small win releases dopamine, reinforcing our sense of power and motivating us to take on bigger challenges.

#5: Practice Gratitude and Connection: Genuine connection with others and gratitude practices help activate the rest/digest system. This reduces anxiety and fosters a sense of fulfillment, allowing us to experience joy without the pressure of achievement.

Conclusion

Fear, whether experienced as anxiety or depression, is a natural response to perceived threats. But when fear dominates, it prevents us from enjoying life’s successes and connections. By understanding how dopamine and our emotional regulation systems interact, we can see that much of our suffering comes from feeling powerless. Through self-compassion, challenging limiting beliefs, leaning into discomfort, and celebrating small successes, we can rewire our brains to reduce fear, increase our sense of personal power, and approach life with greater courage, excitement, and joy.

How to Rewire Your Brain for Fulfillment

How to Rewire Your Brain for Fulfillment

By Dr. Dave Hester

Quick Story… 

Danni was the epitome of mediocrity. They led a lackluster life, filled with monotony and an  abysmal routine that threatened to suffocate every inkling of adventure and spontaneity from  their soul. The advertising agency where they worked reduced them to a mere cog in a  gargantuan machine, creative inputs quashed under the dense bureaucracy and stringent  timelines. 

Their life was rutted into a groove: work, home, sleep, repeat. It wasn’t living; it was merely  existing. 

Danni is caught between burnout and thriving, Danni is languishing. 

The human experience encompasses a spectrum of emotional states, ranging from the depths of  despair to the heights of flourishing. Languishing, a state characterized by a pervasive sense of  emptiness and stagnation, occupies a distinct space on this spectrum. It differs from depression in  its absence of severe negative emotions. Still, it nonetheless hinders motivation, engagement, and  overall well-being.

Who Cares?

Languishing is characterized by a lack of motivation, engagement, and fulfillment. Keep in mind that languishing is not depression or sadness. It can be experienced as just ‘blah’ or ‘eh,’ maybe a little bit of ‘whatever.’ The research emerged from the neuroscience of emotions. To understand the neurological underpinnings of languishing and to explore pathways toward human thriving, we must delve into the intricate workings of the brain.

Chronic stress, a ubiquitous feature of modern life, can further exacerbate this condition. Neuro scientific research has shed light on the neural biological correlates of well-being and its antithesis conserved transcriptional response to adversity or (CTRA). Which is described as an increase in pro-inflammatory genes. In other words, some of us may have higher adverse childhood events (ACEs) and a propensity to respond strongly to stress (CTRA).

Stress activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, a complex neuroendocrine system that regulates our stress response. When chronically activated, the HPA axis can lead to elevated cortisol levels, which may impair the function of the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, areas crucial for emotional regulation and memory formation. This dysregulation can manifest as a lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating, and a general sense of emotional flatness – hallmarks of languishing.

Conversely, the brain’s reward system, centered around dopamine and serotonin, plays a crucial role in motivation, pleasure, and overall life satisfaction. When this system is dysregulated, individuals may experience a diminished capacity for experiencing joy and engagement, potentially leading to languishing.

Why try?

Fostering a brain environment conducive to well-being is imperative to move from languishing  towards human thriving. Engaging in activities that stimulate the release of dopamine and  serotonin, such as: 

  1. NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest) 
  2. Spending time in nature 
  3. Cultivating social connections 
  4. Accepting that I can’t control everything

What can I do? 

Cultivating a sense of purpose and meaning in life can be a powerful remedy to languishing.  Research suggests that individuals with a strong sense of purpose exhibit increased activation in  the ventral striatum, a vital component of the brain’s reward system, during goal-directed tasks.  Engaging in activities that align with one’s values and contribute to something larger than oneself  can foster a sense of fulfillment and connection, potentially propelling individuals toward  thriving. 

Sleep, often the first casualty of a busy lifestyle, is another critical pillar of human thriving.  Adequate sleep is not just about rest it’s about cognitive function, emotional regulation, and  overall well-being. During sleep, the glymphatic system, a recently discovered metabolic waste  disposal unit, clears pathways in the brain. It’s like having your own Roomba removing harmful  metabolites so your brain can function optimally. If not removed, these metabolites can  potentially become harmful. As you can imagine, chronic sleep deprivation can exacerbate  feelings of languishing and impair the brain’s ability to consolidate memories and process  emotions effectively. Therefore, prioritizing good sleep hygiene practices is crucial for optimal  brain function and emotional well-being. 

Nutrition plays a vital role in brain health. Eating clean, with a diet balanced in omega-3 fatty  acids, antioxidants, and vitamins (clinically proven) improves cognitive function and mood. 

Conversely, a diet high in processed foods and unhealthy fats can contribute to inflammation and  impair brain function.

How do I bring it all together?

It starts with self-assessment. It is vital to get to know yourself because the “self” is constantly  changing. While individual differences exist in how brains respond to these strategies,  incorporating them into daily life can significantly enhance one’s capacity for well-being. It is  essential to remember that personal growth is a journey, not a destination. It’s an ongoing and  ever-changing pursuit that involves active engagement and frequent introspection. 

Progress may not always be linear, and setbacks are inevitable. Understanding how you feel after  a good night’s sleep by journaling your progress or tracking your performance on a task can lead  to more discovery. Seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can  provide valuable guidance and encouragement along the way. Having a solid support system  provides a crucial safety net during difficult times. This could mean family, friends, therapists, or  even furry companions – after all, the power of pet therapy shouldn’t be underestimated. A  holistic approach that integrates physical, cognitive, and emotional well-being not just a choice,  it’s a necessity for cultivating a fulfilling and meaningful life beyond just existing.

Resources

  1. Cole SW, Levine ME, Arevalo JM, Ma J, Weir DR, Crimmins EM. Loneliness,  eudaimonia, and the human conserved transcriptional response to adversity.  Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2015 Dec;62:11-7. doi: 10.1016/j.psyneuen.2015.07.001.  
  2. Gao Y, Liu K, Zhu J. Glymphatic system: an emerging therapeutic approach for  neurological disorders. Front Mol Neurosci. 2023 Jul 6;16:1138769. doi:  10.3389/fnmol.2023. 
  3. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal-hpa-axis
  4.  https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg26234863-400-are-you-languishing-in-life heres-how-to-find-your-purpose-again/ 
  5. https://learningwellmag.org/article/understanding-languishing-and-flourishing-with-dr corey-keyes 
  6. Murdock, M.H., Yang, CY., Sun, N. et al. Multisensory gamma stimulation promotes  glymphatic clearance of amyloid. Nature 627, 149–156 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-024-07132-6 
  7. Walton KG, Wenuganen S, Cole SW. Transcendental Meditation practitioners show  reduced expression of the Conserved Transcriptional Response to Adversity. Brain Behav  Immun Health. 2023 Aug 2;32:100672. doi: 10.1016/j.bbih.2023.100672.  

Understanding Dopamine: More Than Just a Pleasure Chemical

Understanding Dopamine

By Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides

Dopamine, often called the “pleasure chemical,” plays a huge role in how we experience pleasure and reward. It fuels one of the most used emotional regulation systems, the reward/goal-oriented system. But there’s so much more to dopamine than just making us feel good. 

Let’s take a deep dive into the world of dopamine, exploring its many functions, its role in evolution, and how it impacts our everyday lives and long-term goals.

The Evolutionary Perspective

To really get why dopamine is so important, we need to look at it through the lens of evolution. Early humans had to be super-efficient with their energy (activity) because food was scarce. Doing anything that didn’t ultimately payoff could be dangerous. Dopamine helped our ancestors predict the potential success of an activity based on past experiences and current beliefs. If an activity was predicted to be successful, then dopamine began to stimulate us (in a way we call motivation) heightening our energy toeards movement towards that ctivity. Once successfully completed, bigger doses of dopamine release. This provides us with the sensations of success and pleasure that have led to dopamine being referenced as the pleasure chemical. Ijj nfact, dopamine provides us with a sense of accomplishment or power. In other words, it helps ego expamsiona nd inflation. This is cery important. Th egreater amounts of dopamine, the higher our internal sense of perceived axccomplishment and ability. This helps buffer us from anxiey and stress, because it leads us to make positive predictions about our ability and hence, provides us with a sense of confidence wich would then spill over into more positive predictions about activities or tasks we have never tackled before.

Imagine our early ancestors leaving their safe caves. They faced all sorts of dangers, from predators to injuries that could turn deadly. But taking these risks often led to big rewards like building shelters, farming, and forming social bonds. Dopamine played a key role by motivating them to engage in these risky activities with the promise of a reward when they succeeded.

Dopamine as a Success Predictor

Dopamine is like our brain’s success predictor. It helps assess our skills and confidence before we start an activity. It mobilizes energy in our bodies, pushing us toward our goals. When we complete an activity successfully, dopamine is released, making us feel good and more likely to do it again. This process is crucial for learning and developing behaviors that help us survive and thrive.

But. unlike we have thought for many years, dopamine doesn’t just seek to assess reward and success, in fact, dopamine is also implicated in coding for failure predictions and then creating an opposing motivational force which is experienced as s lack of motivation or actual motivation to avoid an activity.

Dopamine, Depression, and Motivation

So, dopamine isn’t just about pleasure; it’s also linked to depression and low motivation. We need optimal levels of dopamine to stay motivated and engaged in activities. Low dopamine levels can lead to a lack of motivation and symptoms of depression. This connection is especially clear when we face challenges or threats.

For instance, if you think you’re going to fail at something, your dopamine levels might drop, leading to procrastination or avoidance. This reaction makes sense when you consider our evolutionary past—avoiding risky activities after a failure could boost survival chances. Understanding this mechanism helps explain why we sometimes struggle with motivation and how it’s tied to our perception of success and failure.

Dopamine in Modern Life

Even today, the principles of dopamine’s function are still relevant. Our motivation to complete tasks, whether it’s finishing a work project or hanging out with friends, is heavily influenced by our dopamine levels. If we see an activity as too difficult or likely to fail, our motivation drops, or we may become strongly motivated to avoid an activity. This can lead to procrastination or avoidance, much like how our ancestors would avoid activities that seemed too risky.

To tackle this, it’s important to create an environment that consistently triggers dopamine release. Setting achievable goals, celebrating small successes, and balancing work with relaxation and social activities can all help. By scheduling tasks and recognizing when we complete them, we can encourage dopamine release, which boosts our motivation and sense of accomplishment. Dopamine is entirely reliant on our subjective assessment of success. Depending on how we “hashtag” our experience and actions will determine whether that activity will lead to greater dopamine release, and therefore become an activity that we perform more repetitively and with greater motivation over time. Inversely, “hash tagging” your activity as not good enough, meaningless, or as a failure (perhaps because of what metric you are using to assign success or failure) then that activity becomes harder to engage in next time, because it will stimulate the avoidance system.

Boosting Your Dopamine Levels

Here are some practical ways to enhance your dopamine levels:

  1. task Scheduling: Plan and schedule your tasks, even tasks that you do as part of your routine and you don’t currently consider a big deal When your brain sees a completed task, it releases dopamine, giving you that feel-good sensation. This can include work tasks, exercise, or even leisure activities like binge-watching your favorite show.
  2. Celebrate Small Wins: Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your small achievements. This reinforces positive behavior and makes you more likely to repeat it. 
  3. Process Vs Outcome Oriented: If you are going to make the effort to perform an activity than the effort it takes to do that activity should be the metric, we use to feel successful and accomplished. Try shifting your metric system from the outcome of your efforts and start to focus more on the step-by-step process that it takes to usually achieve said outcomes. The issue with outcome-oriented success metrics is that often outcomes are reliant on factors that can be outside of our control or based on external sources of validation. This then means that you can be working as hard as you did last week but the outcome is no longer being validated by the external environment. If your success metric is outcome oriented, then you become completely reliant on external validation for your dopamine. I don’t know about you, but I do not think that this would always lead to fair assessments.
  4. Balanced Activities: Mix up your routine with work, relaxation, and socializing. Regular social interactions can boost dopamine levels, as we’re wired to seek and maintain social bonds.
  5. Positive Self-Talk: Be mindful of your self-talk. Encouraging and positive thoughts can enhance dopamine release, while negative self-talk can increase stress and lower motivation. How you talk to yourself determines whether the brain will categorise your efforts as successful or failures, and therefore be responsible for dopamine release.
  6. Exercise: Regular physical activity is a powerful way to boost dopamine. It not only promotes physical health but also enhances mental well-being by increasing dopamine production because it increases our perception of being strong enough to navigate our environment. 

Wrapping It Up

Dopamine is a vital neurotransmitter that does so much more than just make us feel good. It predicts success, motivates us, and influences our mood and overall well-being. By understanding its complex functions and using strategies to keep our dopamine levels in check, we can significantly enhance our daily lives and achieve our long-term goals. So, celebrate those small wins, stick to your schedule, exercise regularly, and maintain a balanced lifestyle to harness the power of dopamine for better motivation, productivity, and happiness

Lerner, T. N., Holloway, A. L., & Seiler, J. L. (2021). Dopamine, Updated: Reward Prediction Error and Beyond. Current opinion in neurobiology67, 123–130. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.conb.2020.10.012

Papalini, S., Beckers, T., & Vervliet, B. (2020). Dopamine: from prediction error to psychotherapy. Translational Psychiatry, 10(1), 164. doi:10.1038/s41398-020-0814-x

Magnon, A. P., . . . Wanat, M. J. (2019). Pattern of dopamine signaling during aversive events predicts active avoidance learning. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116(27), 13641-13650. doi:doi:10.1073/pnas.1904249116

How Our Brain Navigates Conflicting Feelings

By Dr. Justin Kennedy

Imagine waking up on a sunny Saturday morning. Your two kids and the family dogs jump into bed, filling the whole room with laughter and wagging tails. You feel a surge of happiness, relishing in this warm, chaotic start to the day. Fast forward to the afternoon, and you’re hosting a birthday party for your youngest. 

The house is buzzing with excitement and the joyful screams of children playing, yet you’re also grappling with the stress of managing the event and ensuring everything runs smoothly. Here, we venture into the murky territory of mixed emotions, where happiness and anxiety coexist in a complex dance.

An Emotional Orchestra: Default and Salience Networks

Our emotions are orchestrated by a symphony of neural networks, with the Default Mode Network (DMN) and the Salience Network (SN) playing starring roles. The DMN, often active during introspective activities like daydreaming or reminiscing, is crucial for processing self-referential thoughts and emotions. When we reflect on our past or imagine our future, the DMN lights up, weaving together memories and feelings in a complex way not always easy to define.

Conversely, the Salience Network acts as our brain’s spotlight, directing our attention to significant internal and external stimuli. It helps us navigate the emotional highs and lows by highlighting the most important moments. When faced with emotionally charged experiences, the substantia nigra (SN) collaborates with other key brain regions to help ensure we respond in an appropriate and adaptive manner to the situation at hand.

Mary’s The Bittersweet Graduation

Mary had dreamed of this day for years. As she walked across the stage to receive her college diploma, she felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and excitement for the future.But as she gazed out at her friends and professors, she also felt a pang of sadness. College had been her home, a place where she had grown, learned, and forged lifelong friendships.The thought of leaving this cherished chapter behind was bittersweet. Her heart was a swirling mix of joy and melancholy. She burst into tears and she received her diploma while at the same time, a smile danced across her lips. The bitter-sweet feelings were so overwhelming she rushed to a friend and sobbed as they laughed together. This illustrates how our emotions can defy simplistic categorization, often existing in a more nuanced and complex state.  

The Dance of Neurotransmitters: Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin

Neurotransmitters are the brain’s chemical messengers, crucial in shaping our emotions. Dopamine, often dubbed the “feel-good” neurotransmitter, is integral to our reward system. Or imagine the joy of finally piloting a plane after countless lessons and failures – that’s dopamine at work.

Serotonin, on the other hand, is key to maintaining mood balance. It acts as a stabilizer, preventing us from swinging too wildly between emotional extremes. A steady level of serotonin keeps us feeling calm and content, even in the face of adversity.

Then there’s oxytocin, the “love hormone.” Oxytocin deepens our emotional bonds, fostering feelings of trust and connection. When the young boy receives a treat from his mother, oxytocin floods his brain, cementing the emotional significance and connection in that moment.

Mohammed’s A Heartbreaking Goodbye

Mohammed’s relationship had been a significant part of his life for years. He and his partner shared countless memories, but over time, they had grown apart, wanting to live in different cities. Deciding to end the relationship was one of the hardest choices Mohammed ever made. He felt a sense of relief at the prospect of finding new beginnings, but it was deeply intertwined with the sorrow of saying goodbye to someone who had once been his closest companion. The complexity of his emotions highlighted the often dual nature of our feelings. His loss, excitement, adventure, and sadness were all feelings that flooded him in the moment as he said goodbye to his loved partner at Grand Central train station in New York.

Predicting Emotional Shifts: A Peek into the Future

Panksepp’s book, Affective Neuroscience, published by Oxford University Press in 1998, offers comprehensive insights into the brain systems that govern the core emotional behaviors. Panksepp discusses how these emotional systems arise from neurological and learned experiences, highlighting the complexity of disentangling nature and nurture in emotional and behavioral regulation. The book delves into various topics, including arousal, pleasure and pain mechanisms, rage, anger, fear, anxiety, love, and lust, exploring how neurobiology and neurochemistry shape our emotional experiences. For those keen on understanding the intriguing field of affective neuroscience, this book is an invaluable resource! He explains that changes in specific brain areas can predict when we’ll switch emotional states. The insular cortex, anterior cingulate cortex, amygdala, and nucleus accumbens (a region involved in reward processing) all play a role in these transitions. By examining neural activity, you can foresee when you might move from joy to sorrow or from calmness to excitement and sometimes at the same time!

Valence: The Emotional Spectrum

Valence describes the spectrum of emotions from positive to negative. High positive valence includes feelings like joy and excitement, while high negative valence encompasses emotions such as sadness and anger. However, mixed emotions reside in a unique space in between, blending elements of both positive and negative valence to create a rich, multifaceted experience. This nuanced interplay of opposing emotional states allows for a more complex and authentic representation of the human experience.

The Role of Relationships in Emotional Complexity

Our relationships deeply influence our emotional landscapes. Consider the bond between the young boy and his mother. Her support and love fuel his dreams and shape his emotional responses to life’s challenges. The mixture of grief and inspiration he feels at her funeral shows how relationships contribute to our most profound and complex emotional experiences.

The Power of Stories in Evoking Emotions

Stories like the young boy’s journey to become a pilot serve as powerful tools for exploring emotions. They allow us to empathize, reflect, and experience a wide range of feelings. Delving into the neural mechanisms behind these emotional narratives can deepen our understanding of how storytelling influences our emotional experiences. Neuroplasticians and practitioner researchers can better understand how our brains create and navigate mixed emotions to support their client’s process of complex experiences.

Conclusion: Embracing Emotional Complexity

Emotions are a rich tapestry, intricately woven from our experiences, relationships, and the complex workings of our brains.The discovery that mixed emotions are distinct experiences rather than a single blended state adds a new layer of nuance to our understanding of the human psyche. Think of a previous relationship that had many highs and lows. What made you stay and what made you go? Can you describe these complex feelings? Is it a word or a story? As you reflect on your emotional journeys, appreciate the complexity and beauty of your feelings. These are the fabric of being authentic and engaged with those around you.

Share Your Emotional State!

In what emotional state were you engaged while reading this article? I hope it was one of reflection, enjoyment, and happiness! Please share your thoughts and feelings with someone  — your emotional journey is as fascinating as the neuroscience behind it.

References

  • Vaccaro, A. G., Wu, H., Iyer, R., Shruti Shakthivel, Christie, N. C., Damasio, A., & Kaplan, J. (2024). Neural patterns associated with mixed valence feelings differ in consistency and predictability throughout the brain. Cerebral Cortex, 34(4). https://doi.org/10.1093/cercor/bhae122
  • Panksepp, J. (1998). Affective Neuroscience: The Foundations of Human and Animal Emotions. Oxford University Press. 10.1093/oso/9780195096736.001.0001

What is Your Brain’s Love Language?

By Linda Ray

You may be familiar with the concept of love languages, a theory introduced 30 years ago by Baptist pastor Gary Chapman. According to this theory, people express and receive love in different ways, and understanding your partner’s love language—whether it’s words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time, or physical touch—is key to a happy relationship. 

Despite the popularity of Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, there is little empirical evidence supporting the theory. In a paper published in January 2024 in Current Directions in Psychological Science, researchers reviewed the literature and concluded that the core assumptions about love languages lack empirical support.

But what if there’s another way to describe what drives our behavior—one grounded in empirical evidence? Could our brains have “love languages” that help us understand what motivates us? Decades of neuroscience research have uncovered social drivers of behavior that can provide valuable insights into understanding ourselves and others.

Research confirms that humans are highly social beings, and the brain is often described as a social organ. As early as 1978, researchers noted similarities between the experiences of social pain (such as ostracism, interpersonal rejection, or hurt feelings) and physical pain. 

Over the following decades, studies have explored how these two types of pain might be connected, focusing on overlapping neural activation patterns in the brain (Eisenberger, 2015; Eisenberger & Lieberman, 2008). This body of research has identified key drivers of behavior, which can be broadly categorized into five domains of social experience.

The C.A.R.E.S. Model

The C.A.R.E.S. model outlines five areas in our interactions with others that can trigger threat or reward responses. By understanding these fundamental social drivers, we can better identify our triggers and understand the triggers that influence others’ behavior. This knowledge is valuable in all interactions, whether in personal relationships or professional settings.

The five domains that make up the C.A.R.E.S. model are Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Equity, and Significance. These domains are key areas where we can experience threat or reward. Being aware of these domains helps us manage ourselves and others more effectively.

These five domains activate the brain’s ‘primary reward’ or ‘primary threat’ circuitry. Simply put, a perceived threat to one’s significance activates similar brain networks to those triggered by a threat to one’s life. Conversely, a perceived increase in equity or fairness activates the same reward circuitry as receiving a large monetary reward. 

While everyone can experience threats or rewards related to each of these social domains, we tend to be more sensitive to the driver that is most important to us. Let’s explore each domain more closely.

  • Certainty: Do I have clarity now and into the future?

This domain relates to our drive to predict the future to meet our need for certainty. People with high needs for certainty tend to be cautious decision-makers. 

They prefer to take their time to weigh options and dislike being rushed. They are often perfectionists, with a low appetite for risk or change, and can be highly detail-oriented. They experience threats when situations or expectations are unclear. 

Those who value certainty are dependable and loyal, but they may struggle with delegation, fearing that others won’t meet their standards.

  • Autonomy: Do I have choice and influence?

This domain reflects our drive for choice and control to satisfy our need for autonomy. Individuals with high autonomy needs are often confident, self-motivated, and resistant to micromanagement. 

They are typically innovators, thriving on the freedom to approach tasks their own way. They prefer understanding the big picture and dislike excessive advice or detail. While they enjoy working independently, they may not always be seen as team players.

  • Relatedness: Do I belong?

This domain is about our drive to feel connected to others, fulfilling our need for relatedness. People for whom relatedness is a high driver are often the social glue in a family or team. 

They excel at building strong connections and relationships, sometimes prioritizing others’ needs over their own. While they are loyal and protective, they may avoid conflict, which can sometimes distract them from their own goals.

  • Equity: Am I being treated fairly?

This domain involves our drive for fairness and equity. Those with high equity needs are champions for justice and equality, often advocating for fair principles and processes. 

They are empathetic and nurturing, standing up for others when they perceive injustice. Highly collaborative, they seek consensus in decision-making, but they may hold grudges or sacrifice personal interests in the face of perceived unfairness.

  • Significance: Do I matter to others?

This domain relates to our drive to maintain a positive self-image. People with high needs for significance are often ambitious and energetic, driven by the pursuit of recognition and achievement. 

They thrive on praise and acknowledgment but can become defensive when stressed or challenged. Competitive by nature, they may hesitate to express unpopular opinions, fearing rejection.

We often communicate based on our dominant drivers, which can unintentionally create threats for others. For example, my partner and I both enjoy cooking, but his primary drivers are significance and certainty, while mine are autonomy and equity—not exactly a perfect match. When he offered unsolicited advice while I was cooking, it triggered a threat response in me. After experiencing this too many times, we agreed that he would ask, “May I make a suggestion?”—to which I could respond yes or no. Interestingly, this simple change met my need for autonomy.

In the workplace, I’ve become more mindful of the fact that certainty is my lowest driver, while for 40% of my team, it’s the highest. I’ve learned to provide more information than I might personally need and to be mindful of punctuality and let team members know if I am running late. 

I now give my team time to process information and avoid rushing decision-making. In every interaction—whether with team members, family, or stakeholders—I consciously consider how to meet their needs for certainty, autonomy, relatedness, equity, and significance. 

This approach has been a game changer, enabling me to communicate more effectively and reduce the chances of triggering a threat response in others. 

While the concept of love languages has resonated with many, its lack of empirical support and narrow focus make it less effective in capturing the complexities of human behavior. The C.A.R.E.S. model, however, is rooted in decades of neuroscience research, offering a robust and scientifically-backed framework for understanding what truly drives us. 

Unlike love languages, which primarily address romantic relationships, the C.A.R.E.S. model applies to all social interactions, from personal to professional.

Notably, the C.A.R.E.S. model has been described by participants in our Advanced Diploma of Neuroscience of Leadership as pivotal in enhancing their leadership skills and deepening their engagement with others. 

By recognizing and addressing the core social drivers—Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Equity, and Significance—we can navigate interactions more effectively, foster deeper connections, and reduce misunderstandings. 

In this way, the C.A.R.E.S. model not only provides more practical insights but also empowers us to create more meaningful and harmonious relationships across all areas of life.

How to Improve Your Mental Health in a Tech-Heavy World

How to Improve Your Mental Health in a Tech-Heavy World
BY Taino Bendz

Lower your stress, sleep better and feel better

Some estimates claim that a human today is exposed to as much data & impressions in a single day as someone in the 15th century would be in their entire lifetime!

Digital technology has exponentially increased the amount of information that is both sent out and received, and our brains run on high alert with the constant stream of emails, messages, social media updates, news reels, in video, audio and image form. 

Countless studies point to the effect that an overuse of technology can have on sleep, stress, mood, anxiety, and depression.

In this piece you will learn how digital tech affects your mental health, and how you can improve in simple ways.

“Overusing phones is associated with stress, anxiety, and poor sleep quality, whereas moderate use has health benefits.”

Psychology Today, 2022

Let us start with a reflection exercise

I am giving you two options, a quick one, and one in-depth.

A quick assessment:

  1. Think about the digital technology you are using in your life.
  2. Consider in what ways you feel like it improves your mental health. E.g. positive social connections, mental health apps, self-help tools
  3. In what ways do you feel like it affects your mental health negatively? E.g. sleep issues, stress, anxiety, FOMO, social comparison, bullying, loneliness.
  4. What patterns are there in your usage? What activities improve your mental health, and which affect it negatively?

An in-depth mapping: 

  1. Journal your activities.
    As you go through your day, write down what activities you do with digital tech (e.g. social media, work, entertainment, communication).
  2. Do an emotional and physical check in.
    Write down how you felt before, during, and after using digital devices? (e.g., anxious, happy, relaxed, tired).
    Note any physical sensations (e.g., eye strain, headaches, tension).
  3. Consider the context and consequences
    What were you doing before you reached for your device? What prompted you to use it?
    How did your digital use affect your activities, mood, or interactions with others? Did it help or hinder your tasks and relationships?
  4. Reflect on Patterns
    At the end of the day, review your entries and look for patterns. Ask yourself:When do I feel most and least positive about my digital use?
    Are there specific apps or activities that consistently impact my mood or energy levels?
    How does my digital use affect my sleep, productivity, and interactions with others?

Why does tech affect our mental health?

Digital technology affects our mental health due to several interconnected factors, rooted in how our brain works, and we interact with and respond to digital environments. One of the main reasons is overstimulation and information overload, where frequent notifications from apps create a constant state of distraction, leading to reduced attention spans and increased stress levels. One study even found that office workers with their email program open had a constantly higher heart rate throughout the day! It is the same mechanism when we constantly check our phone for messages, notifications, social media updates.

Information overload comes from social media, news, email, messaging apps, as well as games, and is a very common effect, even if many of us are unaware of it. Our brains are simply not made to handle these amounts of information with the constant dopamine release.

Another common effect is sleep disruption which is caused by blue light exposure that interferes with the production of the sleep regulating hormone melatonin. Usage of our screens in the evenings can increase the time it takes for us to fall asleep, as well as affect our sleep patterns and leave us waking up less rested. Sleep disturbances have associated mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

Social comparison and inadequacy, cyber-bullying, compulsive behavior, isolation and loneliness, learning & cognitive impact: the list of potential effects can be made long. The important thing is to understand that digital technology does affect our mental health; consider how it is affecting you; and do something about it.

What can we do to improve our mental health?

There are heaps of simple ways to improve our mental health by changing our tech habits. In one study where all participants used their phone a lot, they were requested to turn off their phones one hour before bedtime for one week. The result?

“Of course, we knew that it would result in some improvement of happiness and well-being, but the findings surprised even us.”

Jolanta Burke Ph.D., RSCI University of Medicine and Health Sciences

It turns out that the simple change of switching off phones before bed significantly improved participants’ well-being and quality of life within just a week! This practice enhanced life satisfaction, happiness, and physical health, reduced phone addiction and increased the participants’ sense of control. Improved sleep quality was a key factor but participants also experienced reduced anxiety and gained more personal time, engaging in activities like reading, reflecting, and preparing for the next day. Enhanced relationships, including deeper connections and improved sex life, were also noted. With all the positive impacts of this simple change over 90% decided to continue the habit post-experiment.

This goes to show that small steps can make a big difference!

Here are 10 different ways you can improve your mental health:

  • Turn off your phone an hour before bedtime and keep it off all night
    (get an alarm clock if you have to!)
  • Find non-tech hobbies
    The reduction of tech use is much easier and pleasant if you find things to fill up your newly freed up time with.
  • Create tech-free zones
    Make certain areas of your home, like the dining room, tech-free to encourage personal interactions
  • Reduce your news intake
    Think about how you really want to consume news and try to balance staying up to date with not getting overwhelmed.
  • Do a digital detox
    Whether an hour, a day, or a weekend, try a period where you don’t use your devices. Daunting at first but this can give you a sense of control and reduce your feeling of dependance.
  • Clean up your feed
    Follow positive content and unfollow sources of stress or negative emotions. While you´re at it you could cut down on your social media channels to keep only the ones you really need or enjoy.
  • Manage your notifications
    Consider which notifications that you really need and turn the rest off. You can still check your apps on your own terms instead of checking at every buzz. It can also be good to inform people that your response habits will change.
  • Stop the mindless scroll
    Identify situations when you tend to scroll mindlessly. What can you do instead? Can you consume specific content that has a positive impact on your mental health? Or use tech to deepen a relationship e.g. with a call?
  • Set screen time limits
    Use apps to monitor and limit daily screen use
  • Engage in physical activity
    The connection between mental health and physical activity is very strong. Overuse of tech tends to lead to a sedentary lifestyle, so find some physical activity you enjoy and give it a go.

Now it´s your turn!

  • Choose one of the practices above that suits you and give it a try for a week
  • Compare the same situations you identified in the reflection exercise. Is there any difference?
  • Either stick with the new habit or choose another one to try!

Remember that you might not see immediate results. You might even feel worse during a period. Have patience and rest assured that over time, these changes add up.

My own practices
So do I practice what I preach? Well, to a big degree yes. I noticed that using screens at night impacts me a lot, so I have scheduled my phone to turn to gray scale at 7pm, and I try to avoid screens altogether after 8pm. At times I have been very reactive to my phone in a way that I felt distracted from life, so I have almost all notifications turned off, but use messaging apps that I check every now and then. People have learned that if they want an answer quickly they better call! I mainly use one social media channel for professional activities, and my usage varies a lot. At times I can be rather active, but then I always get to a point where I feel like it is too much, and I naturally almost entirely stop using it for a few weeks.

My own biggest challenge is social comparison, as I easily get negative emotions and feelings of inadequacy when I look at feeds. This is something that I reflect a lot on and try to work on both by changing tech habits, but also dig into where the emotions come from and why.

By now I hope that you have gained an understanding about the impact that digital technology can have on our mental health, and how it affects you in your particular situation.

If you have any experiences to share I’d love to hear your thoughts – feel free to reach out at taino@tainobendz.com

Two Scoops of Optimism and One Scoop of Pessimism

Two Scoops of Optimism and One Scoop of Pessimism

By Tyler Mongan

Imagine drawing a line on a piece of paper. On one end, you write “optimistic about the future,” and on the other, “pessimistic about the future.” Where would you place yourself? It’s a simple question, but it reveals a lot about how we view our lives and the world around us.

Interestingly, people in wealthier countries often lean more toward pessimism about the future compared to those in poorer countries. This phenomenon might seem counterintuitive, but it can be attributed to higher expectations and a greater awareness of potential threats. While some argue that pessimism helps us keep our expectations low and avoid disappointment, the debate between optimism and pessimism is much more nuanced. For instance, many college students may feel pessimistic about the future of their country while remaining optimistic about their personal futures. Optimism and pessimism are often context-dependent.

Optimism vs. Pessimism

Optimism and Health

Numerous studies have shown that an optimistic outlook is generally associated with better physical and mental health. Optimists tend to have lower rates of cardiovascular disease, stronger immune systems, and longer life spans. For example, a study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that optimistic individuals had a significantly lower risk of developing coronary heart disease compared to their pessimistic counterparts. This effect is partly due to the fact that optimists are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors, such as regular exercise and maintaining a balanced diet.

Pessimism and Realism

On the other hand, pessimism is not without its benefits. Research indicates that pessimists may actually live longer, partly because they are more cautious and realistic about potential risks. A study in Psychology and Aging found that pessimistic individuals tend to have more accurate perceptions of reality, particularly regarding their own future prospects. This realism can lead to more cautious decision-making, helping to avoid risky situations.

Optimism Bias

Most people exhibit optimism bias—the tendency for individuals to believe that they are less likely to experience negative events and more likely to experience positive ones. This bias is prevalent in about 80% of humans and even in some animals, like rats and birds. Optimism bias can be beneficial as it motivates individuals to pursue goals and persevere through challenges. For example, Talia Sharot, in her book The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain, explains that people with positive future expectations are more likely to adapt to changes and setbacks, thus increasing their chances of success.

Optimists often engage in selective attention, focusing more on positive aspects and downplaying or ignoring negative information. For instance, if an optimist receives both good and bad news about a project, they are likely to emphasize the positive aspects and minimize the negative ones. This can create a more favorable and motivating view of their situation, encouraging them to continue pursuing their goals with confidence.

A study by Sharot et al. (2011) demonstrated that people generally tend to update their beliefs more when presented with positive information than when given negative information. This phenomenon occurs more strongly in optimists, who may interpret ambiguous situations in a more favorable light. This bias can serve as a psychological buffer against stress and anxiety, fostering a sense of hope and possibility. However, too much optimism can be problematic. Overly optimistic individuals may underestimate risks and fail to prepare adequately for potential setbacks. This disconnect from reality can lead to poor decision-making and unexpected disappointments. It’s essential to strike a balance between maintaining a hopeful outlook and staying grounded in reality.

Realism Can Be Depressing

In contrast, individuals with unhealthy mental states tend to lack optimism bias. Instead, they are more likely to process information in a manner that reflects reality more accurately, giving similar consideration to both positive and negative outcomes. This balanced or even pessimistic perspective is not necessarily a deliberate choice but rather a consequence of their mental state. For instance, those with depression may have a diminished capacity for positive bias, which typically helps protect against emotional distress. As a result, they might view positive events with skepticism and give undue emphasis to potential negatives, leading to an even-handed but sometimes overly cautious or negative assessment of situations. Consequently, they are less likely to experience the motivational benefits of optimism.

Balanced Optimism Through Mental Contrasting

One effective way to balance optimism and pessimism is through a technique called mental contrasting. This method involves visualizing both positive and negative future scenarios, helping individuals prepare for obstacles while staying motivated. The process includes the following steps:

  • Exploring Risks: Identify potential challenges that could arise. For instance, if you’re planning to start a new business, consider the financial risks and market competition.
  • Exploring Opportunities: Recognize potential benefits and positive outcomes. What opportunities could this new venture bring? How could it improve your life or career?
  • Becoming Aware of Disruptions: Think about what could go wrong and disrupt your plans. This could include economic downturns, personal health issues, or unforeseen global events.
  • Listing Ways to Adapt: Develop strategies to overcome these obstacles. What contingency plans can you put in place? How can you stay flexible and adapt to changing circumstances?

By engaging in mental contrasting, individuals can maintain a balanced perspective, acknowledging potential risks while staying optimistic about achieving their goals. This approach not only fosters resilience but also helps in making more informed decisions.

The 2:1 Ratio: Finding the Right Balance

Research suggests that the ideal balance between optimism and pessimism is context-dependent but generally leans towards a 2:1 ratio. For every pessimistic thought, it’s beneficial to have two optimistic ones. This ratio helps maintain a positive outlook while still preparing for potential challenges.

Studies by psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dilip Jeste indicate that a healthy balance of optimism and pessimism contributes to better mental and physical health outcomes. In his research, Jeste found that individuals who maintained a 2:1 ratio of optimism to pessimism were more likely to experience higher levels of life satisfaction and overall well-being. This balance allows for a realistic assessment of situations while promoting a hopeful and proactive approach to life’s challenges.

Conclusion

The debate between optimism and pessimism is complex, with both perspectives offering valuable insights. While optimism is generally linked to better health and well-being, a dose of pessimism can provide a realistic check on expectations and help avoid unnecessary risks. By practicing mental contrasting and maintaining a 2:1 ratio of optimism to pessimism, you can navigate life’s uncertainties with a balanced and resilient mindset.

So, let’s revisit the line you drew at the beginning. After considering both optimism and pessimism, where would you place yourself now?


References

  • Davidson, K. W., Mostofsky, E., & Whang, W. (2010). Positive Affect and Risk of Coronary Heart Disease: The Canadian Nova Scotia Health Survey. American Journal of Epidemiology, 178(1), 12-20.
  • Jeste, D. V., & Palmer, B. W. (2013). A Call for a New Positive Psychiatry.
  • Sharot, T. (2011). The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain.
  • “Forecasting Life Satisfaction Across Adulthood: Benefits of Seeing a Dark Future?” Psychology and Aging, Vol. 28, No. 1.

Transform Your Social Skills From Awkward to Awesome

By Dr. Justin Kennedy

The Social Brain in Action
Let me take you back to my first day of college. It was a terrible day! As a freshman, at the local pub, I tried to mingle but knew no one and so felt completely out of place. My pupils dilated, my heart raced, and my palms were so sweaty I held my beer with two hands. Every attempt at starting a conversation felt like a social tsunami. Little did I know, my brain was working against me.

My amygdala, sensing potential social threats, was flooding my system with stress hormones like cortisol. This response was part of my brain’s fight-or-flight mechanism, preparing me to either escape or confront the situation. Meanwhile, my prefrontal cortex, responsible for logical decision-making and social behavior, was struggling to maintain composure amidst the stress. The decrease in dopamine levels, essential for reward and pleasure, made me feel even more disconnected and anxious.

This complex symphony of chemical and neural activity, including reduced activity in my default mode network responsible for self-referential thoughts, shaped not only my social interactions but my overall experience of the world. I felt doomed.

Are You a Mind-Reader or a Brain-Reader?
Are you a mind-reader? Mind-reading involves interpreting thoughts and emotions based on observable behavior, while brain-reading delves into the underlying neural mechanisms that drive those behaviors. By examining both perspectives, we can gain a deeper understanding of human interaction and improve our social intelligence.

The Neuroplasticity of Social Interactions
As a professor of applied neuroscience and as a Neuroplastician, in a non-clinical practice as a coach I have a profound appreciation for the brain’s ability to adapt and change. The brain’s staggering number of neuronal connections— and our advanced neuroimaging tools reveal its remarkable complexity. However, these marvels often overshadow a crucial aspect of brain function: its remarkable capacity for social adaptation and change in response to others.

Imagine meeting Max, a client intrigued by the idea of neuroplasticity but skeptical about its real-world implications beyond brain mechanics. As a Neuroplastician, I often encounter such skepticism, rooted in the view of the brain as a mere machine.

Stories of Social Neuroplasticity
“So, are you saying my brain can change just by interacting differently with people?” Max asked, leaning forward with a mix of curiosity and doubt.

“Absolutely,” I replied with a reassuring smile. “Let me share a story to illustrate this.”  recounted the tale of Emily, a spirited retiree who came to me seeking help after a stroke affected her speech and confidence. Emily loved her book club gatherings but found herself withdrawing due to difficulty in expressing her thoughts. In her coaching process we devised a plan that involved building active participation in non-stressful social activities. She spent time at the dinner table building up the power of her brain’s Broca area to feel confident speaking. 

Weeks later, Emily returned with a sparkle in her eyes. “You won’t believe it! I started volunteering at a local library, reading to kids. It’s been challenging, but each week, I feel more confident. My speech is improving, and I feel more like myself again.”

Foundations of Social Intelligence
Max looked intrigued. “So, her brain changed because she engaged socially?” “Exactly,” I nodded. “Her brain rewired itself, tapping into its plasticity to accommodate and thrive in new social situations.”

Max grinned, now seeing beyond the mechanical view. “That’s incredible! It’s like our brains are designed to adapt to the social world around us.”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed. “Research on neuroplasticity supports this. The brain isn’t just a static machine; it’s a dynamic organ constantly reshaping itself based on our experiences and interactions.”

The Social Dynamics of Brain Health
As Max left, inspired by Emily’s story, I reflected on how understanding neuroplasticity isn’t just about grasping the mechanics but appreciating the profound impact of social experiences on our brain’s capacity to change and grow. After all, in the intricate dance of neuroplasticity, the melody of social influence plays a crucial role in shaping the symphony of our minds.

Are You a Brain-Reader? 
A groundbreaking book in this field is “Social” by UCLA professor Matthew D. Lieberman. Lieberman reveals that our need to connect with others is even more fundamental than our need for food and shelter. He argues that social connection is the key to our success as a species and one of the reasons we evolved large brains in the first place. Lieberman and his colleagues have discovered that when our brain is not focused on a specific task, it uses its default network to learn about and master the social world (Lieberman, 2013).

Lieberman suggests that by the time we are ten years old, we have spent many hours learning to understand people and groups and our place in them, much like mastering complex skills such as chess, music, or math. This innate’’ social training’’ highlights the brain’s prioritization of social intelligence. Social pain and pleasure, as revealed by fMRI studies, impact our brains as profoundly as physical pain and pleasure. This finding explains why the most painful experiences in our lives often involve social losses, such as the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship (Lieberman, 2013).

The brain has evolved sophisticated mechanisms to secure our place in the social world. We possess a unique ability to “read” other people’s minds, discerning their hopes, fears, and motivations. This capability allows us to effectively coordinate our lives with one another, restraining selfish impulses for the greater social good. When this wiring malfunctions, as seen in conditions like autism, individuals face significant challenges in connecting with others (Lieberman, 2013).

Neuro-Nerd Deep Dive
Let’s dive deeper into how neurotransmitters influence our social experiences. Dopamine, for instance, is central to our reward system. When you experience something pleasurable, like a compliment or a hug, dopamine is released, making you feel good and encouraging you to seek out more of these positive interactions. On the flip side, serotonin helps regulate mood and social behavior. Low levels of serotonin are associated with social anxiety and depression, highlighting its role in our overall social well-being.

Neurotransmitters play crucial roles in social intelligence. Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” enhances social bonding and trust. Dopamine, the “reward hormone,” reinforces pleasurable experiences, encouraging social interactions. Vasopressin is linked to social behaviors, including pair bonding and aggression regulation. These chemicals illustrate the biochemical foundation of our social interactions and highlight the brain’s intricate design for fostering social connections.

Glutamate and GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) play pivotal roles in excitatory and inhibitory neurotransmission, respectively. Glutamate is the brain’s primary excitatory neurotransmitter, promoting neural activation and contributing to cognitive functions like learning and memory. GABA, in contrast, serves as the main inhibitory neurotransmitter, reducing neuronal excitability and preventing overstimulation. This balance between excitatory and inhibitory signals is crucial for maintaining proper brain function and navigating social experiences.

Interestingly, our brain’s default mode network (DMN) becomes highly active when we are at rest and not focused on the outside world. The DMN is involved in self-referential thinking, daydreaming, and recalling memories, all of which play a role in how we understand ourselves and relate to others. When we are engaged in social interactions, the DMN helps us interpret social cues and empathize with others, further illustrating the brain’s intricate design for social intelligence.

Harnessing Neuroplasticity for Social Well-Being
As a Neuroplastician, my work extends beyond the traditional boundaries of neuropsychology. I explore how the brain’s adaptive capacities can be harnessed to promote resilience and recovery in the face of neurological challenges. This approach underscores the potential for rehabilitation strategies that leverage neuroplasticity to facilitate recovery and improve cognitive outcomes.

For example, consider the role of excitatory and inhibitory neurotransmitters in shaping behavior. Excitatory neurotransmitters like glutamate drive us towards action and engagement, while inhibitory neurotransmitters like GABA help us avoid overstimulation and maintain balance. This dynamic interplay influences our ability to navigate social situations, highlighting the importance of a well-regulated neurochemical environment for social intelligence.

A Symphony of Adaptation
While the brain’s complexity and anatomical structures are awe-inspiring, they represent only a fraction of its true essence. Its ability to adapt, learn, and grow throughout life—from childhood development to aging—underscores its dynamic nature. The brain also has ‘social wings’. By embracing this paradigm shift in social neuroscience, we not only deepen our understanding of cognitive function but also recognize the profound impact of social context and interpersonal relationships on brain health and resilience.

Are you a mind-reader or a brain-reader? So, the next time you find yourself in a socially awkward situation, remember that your brain is hard at work, balancing excitatory and inhibitory signals, releasing neurotransmitters, and activating neural networks to help you navigate the social landscape. Understanding these processes not only enriches our appreciation of the brain’s capabilities but also highlights the importance of social connections in our lives.

The Power of Self-Science for Optimizing Your Life

By Dr. David Hester

We are all, in essence, tinkerers and quasi-scientists. Daily, we conduct miniature experiments, testing hypotheses about ourselves and our environment to optimize our experiences. We use the scientific method. For us, this method is akin to a recipe for discovery.

Imagine a curious human in an up-and-down week, meticulously jotting down notes to understand their behavior. They start by asking a burning question, like why do I have so many “x, y, z”?

Next, they carefully design an experiment, selecting just the right tools and measures – perhaps an app to track daily behavior. With precision, they carry out their tests, recording every detail and unexpected twist.

After gathering mountains of data, they analyze it like a detective unearthing clues at a crime scene. Finally, armed with their findings, they draw conclusions that unlock the mysteries of the universe – especially if the findings are repeatable.

This methodical approach is the backbone of scientific progress, guiding researchers on their quest to unravel nature’s secrets one experiment at a time. However, we often overlook the distinction between the ‘inner’ and ‘outer’ realms of scientific inquiry. Inner science is our personal exploration of lived experiences, aspirations, and capabilities. 

In contrast, outer science, conducted by institutions and researchers, focuses on broader populations and statistically significant trends. Understanding the nuances between these two approaches is crucial.

Much of the scientific evidence we rely on originates from Western countries and predominantly involves specific demographics. This implies that a substantial portion of the global population remains underrepresented in research. 

Therefore, while scientific consensus provides valuable insights, it’s essential to remember that individual experiences can vary significantly. Moreover, as technology increasingly influences our wellbeing, we must recognize the potential of low-cost, cognitively efficient tools. Like meditation and mindful moments.

Our brains, consuming approximately 20% of the body’s energy, necessitate mindful optimization. To effectively navigate this landscape, consider the difference between outer science and inner science.

Inner science is a process of personal exploration and discovery, using ourselves as subjects to understand our experiences, aspirations, and capabilities. It involves experimenting with different approaches to see what works best for you and paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and overall well-being.

Oftentimes, inner science is overlooked or undervalued compared to outer science. We tend to rely heavily on external sources of information and expertise rather than trusting our own instincts and experiences. This can lead to a disconnection from ourselves and a lack of personal agency in our own lives.

To bridge the gap between personal and universal knowledge, we must prioritize inner science and self-inquiry as much as we do outer science. Here are some key practices to help us optimize our inner scientific process:

  1. Prioritize personal experimentation
    Think of yourself as a scientist conducting experiments on yourself. If you’re looking to improve your well-being in a specific area (e.g., sleep quality or stress management), try different approaches and methods to see what works best for you.

    For instance, if you want to improve your sleep, experiment with different sleep hygiene practices like setting a consistent bedtime routine or limiting screens before bed. Keep track of your results and adjust your approach based on what works best for you.

  2. Critically evaluate scientific evidence
    While scientific consensus provides valuable insights, it’s essential to critically evaluate evidence before applying it to our own lives. Pietro Marenco, Editor and Critical Appraisal Specialist @ScienceForWok has a “Pyramid of Scientific Evidence” listing meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials at the top and cross-sectional studies/opinion pieces at the bottom. See the link at the bottom. 

    Remember that most research studies are conducted on specific demographics or populations that may not necessarily represent everyone’s experiences. Consider factors such as cultural differences, individual variations in genetics, environment, or lifestyle habits when interpreting the results of scientific studies.

  3. Avoiding Overgeneralization
    Understanding the limitations of Avoiding generalization involves delving into the specifics of a situation rather than making broad assumptions. Instead of painting everyone with the same brush, take the time to consider individual differences and unique circumstances. Look for nuances and exceptions that challenge your initial thoughts.Embrace complexity by seeking out diverse perspectives and experiences that can offer a more well-rounded understanding. By focusing on details and being open to new information, you can steer clear of falling into the trap of overgeneralization.

    Speaking of Generalizing, yikes, do we do this often! Scheme and heuristics lead our daily Interactions. On top of that, you have to be cognizant of avoiding junk science, edging you to take a tablespoon of Raw Sugar a day to lose weight (spoiler alert, it doesn’t work).

    By combining personal experimentation with rigorous scientific inquiry, we can make informed decisions about our personal growth and well-being. One misstep to avoid is following BS science, junk science, and unfounded claims.

    Carl Bergstrom and Jevin West created a free course to help everyone identify and avoid follies of BS science. They also discuss the value of understanding key differences between junk science and the gold standard of research, double-blind placebo studies.

Understanding Junk Science

Junk science, often sensationalized and misleading, is information presented as scientific fact but lacks rigorous methodology, peer review, or credible evidence. It’s frequently used to promote products, beliefs, or ideologies.

Common hallmarks of junk science:

  • Anecdotal evidence: Relies heavily on personal stories or testimonials rather than data.
  • Lack of peer review: Not evaluated by other experts in the field.
  • Cherry-picking data: Selectively presenting information to support a predetermined conclusion.
  • Oversimplification of complex issues: Making claims that are too good to be true.
  • Conflicts of interest: Researchers or promoters stand to gain financially from the findings.

How to Spot the Difference

  • Look for the source: Reputable scientific journals, government agencies, and established research institutions are more likely to publish credible studies.
  • Check for peer review: Research that has undergone rigorous peer review is more likely to be reliable.
  • Evaluate the sample size: Larger sample sizes generally provide more robust results.
  • Consider the methodology: Understand the study design and look for potential biases.
  • Be wary of overhyped claims: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

Correlation does not equal causation. Just because two things happen together doesn’t mean one caused the other. Yet two things can be true at the same time. Still with me?

This is a critical concept to grasp. Just because two things happen together doesn’t mean one caused the other. For instance, a study might find a correlation between ice cream consumption and polio, or Ice cream and murder. This doesn’t mean eating ice cream makes you more likely to be infected with polio or murder your neighbor!

Although, the next time my neighbor Bill has an ice cream party without inviting me we will indeed, have words. Bringing us back. We have to keep in mind when seeing sensational correlation headlines like “ice cream = polio” that there could be various confounding underlying factors at play.

Remember, the ultimate goal is to harness knowledge to create a fulfilling and authentic life. It’s important to remember that scientific averages represent a vast spectrum of individual experiences.

While statistical trends offer valuable insights, they don’t guarantee the same outcome for everyone. Critical thinking is essential to navigate the world of scientific evidence
and tailor it to your unique needs.

“Be careful about reading health books, you may die of a misprint.” – Mark Twain? 

The Brain’s Blueprint for Unlocking Social Intelligence

By Dr. Justin Kennedy

Have you ever had an uneasy feeling that you’re missing something? An unhappy suspicion that in social interactions, your words and actions stand out – but for all the wrong reasons?

Recently, I caught up with Claire, a fellow Neuroplastician, and we delved deep into the latest research and tools she uses when helping clients who feel their intuition in social situations is lacking.

Claire had been working with her client, Mark, to enhance his interpersonal skills and social well-being. Mark shared his challenges with recognizing emotions in others, saying, “I just don’t have that sixth sense to pick up on social cues.

Claire knew that by explaining the neuroprocesses behind intuitive behavior would help Mark understand and develop a strategy that worked.

“Neurons that fire together wire together” is a famous quote attributed to renowned neuropsychologist Donald Hebb.

This statement encapsulates Hebb’s theory of neuroplasticity and learning, which proposes that when neurons repeatedly activate together, the connections between them strengthen. This connection is the first stage of creating new thinking patterns, in neuroscience terms new neural pathways enabling new skills to be developed, including social intuition.

Claire shared with Mark the science behind how humans socially understand emotions. She introduced Mark to the parts of the brain, the mPFC-to-RSC brain pathways which regulate social processes and effectively balance inhibitory and excitatory neurotransmitters. Also, she explained how information transfer occurs for social and emotional processing ensuring optimal functioning of neural circuits involved in social cognition, allowing for accurate interpretation of social cues, emotional responses, and appropriate social behaviors.

She also explained the role of default mode network (DMN), which plays a crucial role in social and emotional processing.

It plays a role in various aspects of social processing, such as understanding others’ perspectives, empathizing, and forming judgments about social situations. The DMN facilitates introspection, theory of mind (understanding others’ mental states), and mentalizing processes, which are crucial for navigating and interpreting social interactions.

Therefore, disruptions or abnormalities in the DMN can affect social functioning and interpersonal relationships.

Dautan’s research involved subjects observing emotional states, like stress or relief, in others, leading to efficient processing of social and emotional information. This not only enables accurate emotional and social recognition but also reinforced the significance of the mPFC-to-RSC brain pathway.

By influencing this pathway, the ability to perceive emotional states in others, such as stress and relief, is changed.

For neuro-enthusiasts, this research illuminates what having a “sixth sense” looks like. It’s about noticing what parts of the brain enable unconscious efficiency in detecting emotions in social settings. The mPFC-to-RSC brain pathway.

Once Claire had described the physical structure of the brain, she dived into the neurotransmitters, the chemical messages that are involved in discerning the meanings in different social interactions.

Mark learned about the role of somatostatin (SOM) neurons, which release the inhibitory neurotransmitter Gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), Mark realized this balancing act between feeling insecure when being excited or holding his tongue in social situations was Mark’s root cause of feeling socially stressed and learning how the brain processes this information was a real relief.

He now felt he could be more emotionally in control and start reading the room to become more socially intuitive by understanding the mechanics of the brain. Justin this still doesn’t make sense to me.

Claire and I discussed how revealing this knowledge helped clients like Mark, improve their social skills by explaining how to recognize and respond to emotional cues, manage their own emotions effectively, and build stronger, more empathetic relationships with others, by listening, not reacting.

Claire and I kept chatting and I shared my recent experience with another client, who was also struggling in social situations but in a different way from Mark.

My client Sarah, often misinterpreted friends’ jokes as criticism, leading to conflicts, and felt overwhelmed in group settings, which made her feel isolated. She came to me for advice and to find a clear and simple solution.

Sarah often found herself on the defensive, misinterpreting the intentions behind her friends’ jokes, which frequently led to unnecessary conflicts and strained relationships. In group settings, the overwhelming flood of emotions left her feeling isolated and disconnected from those around her.

I shared a number of tools with Sarah, one of which was how to best ask open-ended questions. This enhanced her emotional and social intelligence giving her time to pause and analyze her reflex emotional contexts, which improved her interactions.

I was also excited to share the 5 tip trick with Sarah!

This involves 5 ways to hack the brain’s automatic reflex to reply to a question or respond to a comment in a social situation. It works like this. Use these 5 prefixes to improvise your sixth sense:

When you…
I feel…
Because…
In future…
Is that OK?

An example I shared how Sarah could use the 5 tip trick when chatting with her friend Mike, who was fond of telling jokes. I suggested Sarah could say to Mike “When you make a joke, I feel I miss the punch line, Because English is my second language. In future would you mind if I ask you to explain the punch line if I look confused? Is that OK Mike?”

I was happy and proud to share with Claire that as Sarah’s emotional intelligence blossomed, she found herself approaching social situations with a newfound sense of ease and understanding.

No longer burdened by misinterpretations and insecurities, she forged deeper connections with others, fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance within her social circle. With ongoing coaching and support, Sarah discovered the power of self-awareness and emotional regulation in shaping her interactions and experiences.

Sarah emerged through this process to become stronger and more resilient than ever before. Armed with a deeper understanding of her emotional landscape, she embraced life’s complexities with a sense of curiosity and confidence.

As she continued to navigate the intricacies of how the human brain makes connections. Sarah has now become a beacon of hope and inspiration for others at her office and in her social circle to navigate their own journey toward emotional well-being.

Understanding the intricate connections between different brain regions and the role of neurotransmitters in governing social functions is key! And Neuroplastician armed with coaching tools can help their clients by guiding them toward targeted interventions and practices that promote optimal brain functioning.

For instance, techniques like brain-based coaching and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) are utilized to reframe negative thoughts and even interoception and mindfulness exercises. Neuroplasticians also assist clients in building new social habits to improve emotional regulation.

Additionally, neurofeedback can be employed to monitor and adjust brain activity, ensuring the most effective neuroplasticity tools are applied. This knowledge not only aids in personal development but also fosters deeper, more empathetic social interactions.

Ultimately, it leads to stronger connections and support networks within work colleagues, families, and even society as a whole!

Co-Authored with Elizabeth Gould, author of Feeling Forwards